The New Greek Financial Terms

Maybe you remember the “Bear Market Financial Terms”… If you are getting as sick of the daily financial news out of Greece and its financial games as we are, here are some new Greek Financial Market Terms.

Alpha… the conservative party

Beta… the unsuccessful test of currency mergers

Delta… an alternative to Olympic Air or Aegean Air

Gamma…the relative to borrow money from

Bailout… a merchant marine’s job when the ship is taking on water

Greek Column... the line in red pencil to the right of debits and credits or assets and liabilities

Prime Minister… a cheaper substitute for prime rib

PIIGS… the cheaper substitute for lamb

Basel II… a favored spice for lamb or PIIGS

Budget… a rough financial guide to be altered whenever, also called a cookbook

Account Deficit… the new modern day accounting standard

Taxes… something that tourists pay

Austerity Package… a promise, followed by a wink

Euro… that paper that took away your printing presses

Drachma… the reintroduced currency of 2011

Social Security… figuring out how to get around Euro rules and regulations

Retirement Age… 47?

Average Work Week… 30 hours on the books, 12 hours in office

Unemployment… the greatest job

Retirement Account... what is kept under the mattress

Repo Market… an exchange turning in islands and ships to pay for debt

Goldman Sachs… the nation’s bookie

National Bank of Greece… the Country’s betting line each weekday in Vegas

Stock market… where you buy lamb and other food

Greek stock certificates… wallpaper

Government Bond… vouchers used to buy islands at a later date

GDP… the total domestic value of olive oil and tourism

Credit Default Swap… trading canceled credit cards with friends and family

Credit Spread… owing money to multiple friends and family members

Germany… boss

France… the assistant to the boss

Socialism… an economic experiment, much like beta

JON C. OGG