Navigating financial conversations with family is always stressful, but it can be even more so with parents who aren’t planning for retirement. 

This situation occurs all the time. In one recent Reddit post I read, the poster shared a concerning situation where their parents, both in their 60s, have minimal savings, continue to spend freely, and joke about relying on the poster for financial support in the future. 

While the poster has made it clear that they don’t plan to fund their retirement, the worry of the financial instability to come is still weighing on them (as it would all of us)!

Let’s take a look at some possible approaches to this delicate situation based on my experience. 

24/7 Wall St Key Takeaways:

• When it comes to providing financial support for family members, it’s important to set limits and be clear about what help you will and won’t provide. 
• It’s often best to push off difficult financial conversations to a financial advisor, who can help family members see their situation clearly. 
• Also: Take this quiz to see if you’re on track to retire ^(Sponsored)

1. Open Communication with Empathy

Given that the poster’s mother struggles with emotional conversations, it’s important for the poster to frame the conversation as coming out of a place of love and concern for their well-being rather than judgment. 

The poster should let their parents know that they’re more than willing to sit down and help their parents come up with a plan. A compassionate, non-confrontational approach may help them understand the seriousness of the situation. 

2. Encourage Practical Steps Toward Saings

If a direct approach doesn’t work, suggesting that they meet with a financial advisor who can objectively outline their financial situation may be helpful. Sometimes, hearing hard facts from a third party carries more weight (and takes the emotions out of it).

You can also suggest they read some of our retirement planning guides, such as “How to Retire a Millionaire: 3 Strategies for Success.”

Instead of suggesting “they plan for retirement,” more practical suggestions may be necessary, such as cutting back on spending and automating savings into retirement accounts. Helping them understand investment vehicles that they may still have time to take care of can help them get something saved before retirement. 

3. Consider Long-Term Boundaries

While no one wants their parents to starve, it’s still important for your health to set clear boundaries on how much financial help you’re willing to provide (if any) in the future. While you do want to help, it’s important not to enable poor financial decisions, too. 

In the end, this is just as much a financial problem as a relationship-oriented one. Just like you may want to call in a financial professional, getting everyone therapy may be called for, too (if only to work through these long-tern boundaries). 

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