Personal Finance

My business has taken off and is nearly bringing in $1 million per year but my wife is struggling with it - how do couples navigate this?

David Beren

Published: October 14, 2024 11:30 am

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• • The husband brings in most of the income after the wife’s real estate work slowed. 
  • The wife is now worried about contributing more financially. 
  • It’s very common for couples to want to contribute equally.
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Very few people tell you that money in a marriage isn’t something you need to talk through continuously. In the case of this Redditor, he’s in a situation where he is trying to manage his income growing while his wife’s income has dropped dramatically. The challenge is that his wife wants to contribute more as his income rises. 

There is no question this can be something of a challenge, even though the Redditor’s scenario posted in r/HENRYfinance isn’t unique. What’s unusual is that the wife is already indirectly bringing in referrals to the husband’s business, so she’s still contributing. 

What I love about this post is that it’s yet another look at how couples work through financial conversations, which is widely considered one of the most important topics for all relationships. 

The Scenario

The Redditor’s post in r/HENRYfinance indicates that he considers himself a member of the “high earner but not rich yet” club. After struggling for years with his spouse, whom he’s been with for 15 years, they are finally in a better financial place. 

The husband opened a roofing business that has taken off and is already making upper six figures. Seven figures are already on the horizon, so he’s doing well. On the flip side, his realtor wife has seen her income drop dramatically due to the NAR settlement and higher interest rates and now finds herself in a homemaker role. 

What makes this situation tough is that the wife feels she can contribute more, which she has done with the family’s first fix-and-flip. In addition, she volunteers on multiple real estate boards, which indirectly allows her to refer people to her husband’s business and boost their income. 

However, the husband is stuck trying to figure out how to resolve this situation best so that his wife, who wants to contribute, doesn’t feel compelled to do so. 

The Recommendation 

This is no surprising scenario, as it’s completely fair that his spouse wants to contribute more to the family than just being a homemaker. He says his wife never imagined herself as a stay-at-home mom or “trophy wife” role. 

Before jumping into a recommendation, let’s be clear: I’m not a financial manager and would not presume to give financial advice (talk to a financial advisor), and I’m not a relationship professional. However, I think the dynamic the family has found now is the right one. The wife is already contributing to the husband’s success by bringing him more clients, which affects his earnings. 

The husband could do something to inform his wife about how much income he derives from the referrals his wife brings in a given year. Maybe if she recognizes that 20% of their income or whatever the number would be is from someone she introduced, she might feel better about her overall contribution. 

It’s okay for her to work part-time in real estate, manage additional flip houses, and be the primary caretaker of their 11-year-old daughter without worrying about a full-time job. The husband is more than happy to have her volunteering. 

The Takeaway

The wife should consider their situation very fortunate. In today’s economic climate, two-income families are the norm to make ends meet. That this wife can step away from her job and spend more time doing other passions without worrying about how the bills will get paid should be welcomed. 

Between her volunteering work and anything she can drum up in the real estate world should be considered extra cash for the family. In addition, she may find a way to increase her ability to promote her husband’s business, which would benefit the whole family.