Personal Finance

I'm a 43 with two kids and have $5.6 million - should I quit my job to be a full-time dad?

Dad
Canva | Willemvw from Getty Images and Glowman from pixabay

No group of people are more out of touch with reality than rich people.

Probably no other place exemplifies this better than humble-bragging posts on Reddit. We found one such post titled “Should I go full blown Dad mode?” on the subreddit r/fatFIRE, and explored what wisdom the internet had to share with this individual. What should the poster do? Is it ever too early to retire?

In the original post, the author listed their assets and income: $5.6 million in stocks, six rental homes that generate $111,000 per year, his wife earns $200,000 per year and doesn’t want to stop, and he makes $600,000 per year. He has two young children and asks whether he should quit his job and spend the next few years being a full-time dad.

The Response

The general consensus among the people who replied to the post was a resounding “Duh!”.

Many people in the comments tried to explain to the author that he had lost sight of the whole reason he was working: to make money to support his family and live his life. Now that he had long made enough money to live for multiple lifetimes without working, why was he still working?

Some commenters pointed out that his children are now at the age where parenting has an extra strong impact on their development, and that he will probably (almost definitely) wish he had spent more time with his children when he is older and realizes he wasted his life working.

Others pointed out that it is unfortunate that the author has millions of dollars stashed away but his value of money and his family has been so skewed and warped by his culture that he can’t let it go. One day he will be old and will give anything to have those years back to spend more time with his children.

This makes sense. In the original post, the author didn’t exactly seem worried that he wouldn’t be able to make ends meet, but was more worried about actually enjoying life without his job that he loves so much. It seemed like he was looking for moral support to leave a fun job and actually spend time with his family.

There were some people in the comments who said they had already made the decision to either retire early, work less, or stop working entirely to spend more time with their children, and all of them said they had no regrets.

Additional Advice

In the original post, the author was mostly concerned that he would get bored or depressed if he couldn’t work at his job, go to his “fancy gym”, or go on his long angling trips. He said he is afraid of losing out on future career opportunities. He lives in an extremely expensive neighborhood and still thinks becoming a “full-blown dad” includes only pickup and drop-off for school and making bedtime more fun. The problem with the author’s life isn’t his finances, it’s his entire perception and attitude toward life and family.

According to him, even his own daughter said “I don’t want any more toys, I just want to spend more time with you.” This would have come as a violent wake-up call to any normal person, but the author instead chose to go to Reddit and ask strangers what to do.

Modern companies will work you until you are no longer useful, they will squeeze every ounce of productivity out of your life if you let them, leaving you empty and resentful during the time you have with your family. There will never be a perfect time to retire or the “right amount” of money you need to be happy. Capitalism will conflate your value as a human being with your job and how much money you can make, and you will learn only too late that it was all a lie.

You can always earn more money, but you will never get back the time you lost.

The best advice for this man, and many others, according to the most insightful of responses, is to go outside, touch grass, get a grip on what is really important, and make time for the things that truly matter in our lives.

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