Personal Finance

We make six-figures per year but I don't trust my husband's ability to control this spending

David Beren

Published: November 8, 2024 2:30 pm

24/7 Insights

• This couple have different points of view on spending. 
• A lot of their issues stem from how they were raised. 
• The podcast host helps re-orient their financial path. 
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One of the biggest issues in a relationship is disagreement about finances. In fact, it’s believed that between 30-40% of all divorces in the United States are related to money in some capacity. For this reason, we are introduced to Alisa and Jesse on Ramit Sethi’s “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” podcast. 

Ramit does a great job of using his podcast to help couples navigating murky financial waters find common ground. Jesse and Alisa are not on the same page and have different outlooks on saving, spending, and even how they learned to handle money early on. 

What I love about this podcast is how honest and raw it is. This couple is teetering on a breaking point, and either they will bring it together or go their separate ways. 

The Scenario 

As we meet Jesse and Alisa, we learn they are likely in their 30s, have been married for 10 years, and have no children. While there’s no discussion of children, it’s clear that if this was a discussion point, the couple isn’t ready to make any major life decisions, like bringing a child into the world. 

Regarding specific financials, Ramit explains that the couple has no major assets, as they don’t own a home. Their investment portfolio is around $29,500, and their savings account is currently at $22,800. 

However, things start to fall apart, and the couple’s debt starts to cause much angst. At the time of the podcast, Jesse had $71,000 in student loan debt, while Alisa had $17,000. However, the biggest cause of frustration for Alisa is that Jesse has $6,800 in credit card debt, while Alisa only has $500. 

Ultimately, the couple’s net worth is negative $44,000. What’s most surprising is that the couple wasn’t even aware that their total annual income was around $125,000. Needless to say, there are a lot of missing pieces that need to be filled in for the couple to come together. 

Some Observations

While I’m not a financial advisor, I see things the same way Ramit does: while this couple has some work to do, they can do it. However, the biggest red flag is Jesse’s relationship with money, which is Alisa’s biggest concern. 

The couple had a very different upbringing, where Alisa learned to save her money if she wanted something. Jesse’s family never instilled such control in him, which has snowballed into his inability to control his spending later in life. This is a significant source of frustration between the couple, leading them to Ramit’s podcast. 

The couple must start by figuring out how to reduce their fixed costs. At 72% of their monthly income of $10,394, it is no surprise that this is their biggest financial burden. According to Ramit, fixed costs should be between 50% and 60%, so they need to figure out a “vision” that allows them to bring down these costs. 

The way I see this is that at the time of the call, the couple didn’t have a plan or couldn’t agree on a plan together. They need to agree on a plan, and instead of Alisa pressuring Jesse, they need to work together as a team. Jesse needs to work on paying off his credit cards sooner, while Alisa needs to focus on having a broader vision of what the couple’s salary can do for them together. 

The Takeaway

As Ramit points out, this couple’s reality is that their goals of growing a larger safety net and savings aren’t as far out of touch as they initially thought. For his part, Ramit wanted to guide the couple toward the right path gently, but I agree that they need to figure out how to talk about money as a team. 

While Alisa needs to move on from how her parents talked about money and trying to impress that on Jesse, it does look like they can find a plan for the future. I hope that Jesse will learn to control his spending and that with a six-figure annual salary between them, they should be able to figure out how to navigate the future and enjoy life together. I also hope that Alisa can heal from her past worries about money.