Personal Finance

I'm struggling with retiring early because my parent's didn't and I'm afraid I'll get criticized if I leave the workplace

Joey Frenette

Published: November 14, 2024 11:33 am

There can be a great sense of guilt in retiring before one’s parents. In this piece, we’ll go over a Reddit poster who took to the r/ChubbyFIRE subreddit for advice. And his predicament had more to do with how his parents, who aren’t yet retired, would take things. Indeed, it’s not hard to imagine that the envy of his parents could rain on his earlier retirement.

Having a child retire earlier than you may be viewed as unfair by some parents. That said, I do believe that most parents would be proud that a child has excelled financially in a way such that they can retire a few years or even decades earlier than expected. Despite this, the early retiree shouldn’t be surprised if the parents encourage them to keep working despite having enough to finance a comfortable, early retirement.

Why? By sticking with a higher-income job, the young prospective retiree could help retire their parents and help others around them. 

Although there is no single answer for this prospective early retiree who’s looking to enter their golden years starting in their mid-40s, I do think there are many different scenarios the person should analyze before announcing his early retirement to the parents and the in-laws.

Key Points About This Article

• Retiring before one’s parents without telling them may lead one to feel a sense of guilt.
• The person should know the character of their parents and put in the homework (scenario analysis and meeting with an adviser) before deciding on a move.
• Also: Take this quiz to see if you’re on track to retire ^(Sponsored)

The risks of announcing one’s early retirement

Of course, the big risk of revealing one’s retirement situation is that the parents decide to cut them out of the will or reduce the amount of inheritance they’ll receive. As for the upsides, they may very well be dwarfed by the downsides, at least from a financial perspective.

If the person feels guilt about retiring earlier than his parents, has the desire to help his parents financially, and would get greater peace of mind from revealing his plans, then I say go for it. Just don’t be surprised if the parents ask for some cash here and there.

However, it’s a very personal situation that has no right or wrong answer. The Redditor could assist their parents financially without shedding too much light on their early retirement ambitions. Heck, one can be semi-retired and still be making considerable sums with passion projects, side hustles, or anything of the sort.

Technically, one wouldn’t be 100% retired in such a situation. And if the early retiree doesn’t plan on doing anything upon retirement, I do think it makes less sense to reveal too many details that could be met with a very wide range of reactions. Of course, nobody knows their parents better than the Redditor. And with that, there’s nobody else that can make the optimal decision.

Telling the parents may just be a good thing. It depends on the character of the parents.

If the prospective retiree understands the full extent of the risks of telling, but he’s confident his parents (or in-laws) won’t sour on the relationship due to envy, frustration, or any other negative emotion, having a big chat can be a good thing. Who knows? Perhaps announcing an earlier retirement would allow them to have an even larger inheritance, given they’ve clearly demonstrated they’re good with money.

Some parents prioritize being financially savvy, while others prioritize giving cash on the basis of need. And there are those who want inheritances to be split equally, regardless of the circumstances. I have no idea which group the person’s parents belong to. There are ways of determining their intentions before following through with a big reveal.

The bottom line

In short, the poster finds themself in an enviable situation that could be met with a vast range of emotions and reactions (think envy, pride, joy, shock, frustration). My take? Don’t rush the announcement. Further, I’d reach out to a financial adviser and someone experienced in family dynamics before making a move because there are no take-backs!