Personal Finance

I’m a high-income earner and I can’t find a partner to match my ambition. Help!

Kristin Hitchcock

Published: November 21, 2024 11:26 am

24/7 Wall St. Key Takeaways:

• Ambition in a partner isn’t just about income—it’s about shared effort, dreams, and the willingness to grow together.
• Building a relationship based on shared goals requires clear communication and alignment of values. It isn’t about numbers. 
• Also: Take this quiz to see if you’re on track to retire ^(Sponsored)

Finding a partner who matches your drive and shares your vision can be challenging when you’re a high-earner with ambitious financial goals. Recently, I came across a Reddit post emphasizing this exact problem. In this post, the Redditor (a 39-year-old single woman) shared her struggles of finding a partner who’s financial goals aligned with hers. 

Her dilemma allows us to discuss the importance of a partner in reaching your financial goals and explore some ideas on how to find one. 

Remember, this is just my advice, not financial advice. If you have specific questions regarding your situation, it’s often best to contact a financial professional. 

1. Define Your Financial and Life Goals

You can’t find someone who wants to work towards your life goals unless you know what your goals are. You should start by figuring out what you’re building towards, whether that’s financial independence, travel, or a comfortable retirement. 

Knowing your goals will help you recognize a compatible partner when they come along. 

2. Expand Your Dating Pool

You should strategically look for ways to expand your dating pool. Consider where other financially-ambitious people are likely to be. Join interest-based groups or events centered on finance, entrepreneurship, or personal growth.

You want to frequent spaces where the type of person you’re looking for often is. 

3. Communicate Your Values Early

If you’re set on finding someone with similar ambitions, you should communicate those ambitions later. You should be upfront about your financial habits and goals so that you don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t match what you’re looking for. 

This situation doesn’t have to be transactional. Instead, you can frame it as sharing dreams and aspirations. Your dreams should align with a potential long-term partner. If you don’t both want the same thing, you’re going to be working in different directions. 

4. Leverage Niche Dating Platforms

You can use dating platforms to help you find what you’re looking for, such as Elite Singles or The League. These dating platforms are typically full of those who have similar financial ambitions, so they can be a good place to look. 

5. Reframe the Idea of Ambition

This Redditor was very clear that she wanted a man with similar financial ambitions. However, if she’s having trouble finding someone who fits those ambitions, it could be that her expectations are far too high. People are ambitious in all sorts of different ways, and very few people start out rich! 

Often, collaborating on financial goals is less about numbers and more about aligning your priorities. Sometimes, that’s hard to determine until you know the person a bit better. 

6. Focus on Compatibility, Not Perfection

No one is perfect, and that includes dating partners! It makes sense to want someone who shares your financial goals. However, your main focus should be on compatibility. The individual must share other traits that you care about, too. 

Someone who isn’t a high earner today may still be a great partner if they’re motivated and share your vision for the future.