An engagement ring is one of those costly purchases that’s actually not a great investment for the long term. Indeed, you’re sure to hear many rules of thumb for how much one should spend on an engagement ring. Indeed, some folks, especially those who are fortunate, have a list of qualities that are simply “must-haves” for them.

Though it’s common and acceptable to spend two months’ worth of one’s salary on a ring (the so-called two-month rule), I think that there’s no set rule and that just because you make more money does not mean you should go all out on a purchase that should not break the bank or set you back by some months.

Of course, you want to make a good impression by going for the big on something that’ll be dawned (hopefully) for a lifetime. Either way, I think those, especially in the Millennial or Gen Z cohorts, who value experiences may wish to allocate a greater chunk of their overall budget towards something, perhaps less materialistic (think a honeymoon), that will build lasting memories.

That said, if the honeymoon, wedding, and the seemingly endless list of expenses is going to be hefty, you might as well go all out, right?

Going into debt for the most lavish wedding will probably make anyone’s financial adviser woozy. You can have a great wedding without going into debt and derailing the rest of your financial plan. Heck, there are numerous frugal wedding ideas out there that may very well provide the same (or similar) levels of utility (or joy) that a costly wedding would provide.

Key Points About This Article

• Wedding costs can add up. That’s why it’s important to be honest about the budget well ahead of time!
• Having the right conversations is a must for this Reddit couple.

Transparent wedding budgeting communication is key!

Either way, it’s not hard to imagine that many folks out there will accept nothing short of a “dream wedding” and perfection, even if it means getting mad at their fiancé for reducing costs (like on rings) where possible. If having their dream ring, venue, and wedding plans makes them happy, it’s hard to convince them to accept something a bit less taxing on the wallet. In any case, it’s on the couple to decide on the right budget for them. And it all starts with the ring.

Arguably, wedding cost planning may be the first big test in communication and trust.

In the case of this Reddit poster, they sound quite concerned that their fiancé is getting them a ring that’s cheaper than they had hoped. The ring they picked was a whopping $5,566. And though the fiancé still claims to have spent a great deal (more than $4,000), there seem to be some doubts.

In any case, I’d argue that honesty and communication are key to conversations moving forward. Going back on something previously agreed upon is never great. Still, if there are financial issues here (more than $5,000 is a hefty commitment for many), it’s vital to push for greater transparency.

Perhaps investing the sum in a high-quality index fund that mirrors the S&P 500 would be a better investment of one’s hard-earned cash.

The bottom line

My guess is that price had a huge reason to do with the downgrade. Indeed, a dream ring can set one back quite a bit. And if the finances have deteriorated since (or not kept up amid inflation), the cheaper ring may be the compromise. Sometimes, there are far more important things to discuss than the price of one’s ring. In this case, it’s a lack of communication and trust — not a great place to start the rest of a couple’s life together.

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