Personal Finance

I recently receive a large inheritance - is it wrong for me to hide this money from my spouse?

Joey Frenette

Published: December 4, 2024 11:56 am

Keeping big secrets in a long-term relationship doesn’t sit too well for many, especially if the secret involves something tremendously positive. In this piece, I’ll react to a recent Reddit post that involved someone who’s wondering if they should keep their massive inheritance from an unrelated person from their significant other.

Indeed, if there are trust issues, especially relating to finances (perhaps the significant other is a reckless spender who’s lacking in financial literacy), it can seem like a good idea to keep quiet about running into a sudden fortune. That said, not everyone will be keeping a multi-thousand-dollar (or million-dollar) secret from a spouse.

As always, there’s not going to be a one-size-fits-all type of solution for a case like this. What’s right for this Redditor poster won’t be for others in such an incredibly fortunate dilemma. Indeed, it’s a fantastic dilemma to have, but one that requires careful thought and action nonetheless.

Key Points About This Article

• Landing a big inheritance is fantastic news, but one person from Reddit hesitates to tell their partner.
• Hiding assets from a spouse isn’t right for everyone. However, if revealing the news would jeopardize one’s emergency fund, perhaps keeping quiet initially makes sense.
• Also: Are You On Track to Retire? Take This Quiz and Find Out ^(Sponsored)

Got a big inheritance but are worried about the implications? Here’s when keeping things on a “need to know” basis is best.

Undoubtedly, it’s good practice to put a big financial windfall to work for you in a responsible manner. Whether that entails investing the sum in stocks, bonds, gold, Bitcoin, or some other asset, paying off credit card debt, student loans, or one’s mortgage, there are many ways an individual can give themselves a nice headstart on their retirement.

Indeed, if the spouse is a saver who’s demonstrated financial responsibility (paying off debt rather than seeking to spend every last penny of every paycheck), I’d say breaking the big news to the significant other is a good move. Of course, there are other potential pitfalls of revealing the good news. Either way, I believe that honestly is the best policy if you’re dealing with a saver rather than a spender.

That said, if you just know the significant other is going to want to splurge with the windfall, it may be best to delay the big reveal, perhaps until after you’ve used it to pay off debt or have settled on a use. In any case, I think it’s never too late to teach a loved one the value of saving, investing, and the basics of financial literacy. Perhaps teaching the lessons could precede an unveiling if the poster is keen on not hiding significant assets.

The bottom line

At the end of the day, the inheritor has no obligation to tell their partner anything. And they don’t need a reason to justify their decision. However, if they’re uncomfortable about the situation, perhaps revealing the news and finding a balance that their partner can agree with would make sense. If the Redditor is dealing with a spender, perhaps committing a portion to splurging makes sense while using the rest to advance the couple financially.

Finally, unexpectedly receiving large sums of cash could bring forth a wide range of emotions, guilt being one of them, as the Redditor poster outlined. The poster’s situation isn’t all too uncommon, especially if lurking through the r/inheritence subreddit. And I’d be willing to bet there are others out there feeling the same feelings and questions about who they should tell and what they should tell them.

All considered, anyone who’s not confident in their next move should consult the services of a financial adviser. Additionally, I think taking one’s time in deciding what to do is key to making the best decision, even if it’s not the most financially-responsible one.