Personal Finance

My wife makes over $1 million per year and is now demanding post nuptial agreement - is it a smart idea to sign it?

Kristin Hitchcock

Published: December 8, 2024 12:29 pm

When I was scrolling through Reddit’s r/fatFIRE community, which is for those chasing financial independence, a recent post stood out. A user shared their predicament: their spouse, while pregnant with their first child, demanded a postnuptial agreement under the threat of divorce.  The situation allows us to talk about a lot of topics: wealth, legal arrangements, and priorities. 

Let’s take a closer look at this user’s situation and then consider what we can learn from it:

Key Points from this Article

• Wealth doesn’t shield us from relationship challenges; this post just emphasizes that! 
• The user’s decision largely hinges on their priorities (protecting their financial assets, preserving the marriage, or both). 
• Also: Take this quiz to see if you’re on track to retire ^(Sponsored)

The Context

• Marital Background: Together for 13 years, married for 5.5 years, and residing in a high-cost-of-living state with equitable distribution divorce laws.
• Financial Snapshot: The couple has a combined net worth of $4.5M, including a $3M home and serious retirement savings. 
• The Problem? The poster’s wife has requested a postnup contrary to prior verbal agreements. The Redditor is torn between trying to preserve the marriage and safeguarding their financial well-being. 

Now, let’s examine what we can learn from this post and consider the OP’s possible future path. 

1. Marriage and Money

Marriage and money is a delicate balance. This post shows just how challenging walking the line between financial autonomy and partnership is! Marriage is always a mix of emotional and financial bonds. 

A postnup can provide clean, equitable terms when done right. However, it’s important to do so fairly, which typically isn’t going to be what happens if divorce has been threatened. 

Even the wealthy have mental struggles, including in their marriage! Therapists have revealed that these struggles may be a bit different, but they do exist. 

2. Timing

With the poster’s wife “very pregnant,” the timing of the postnup request is a bit more complex! Pregnancy can bring heightened emotions and stress, but the threat of divorce also raises questions about the long-term health of the relationship. 

Due to the pregnancy, the timing could lead to the request getting overlooked (is it just pregnancy stress?). However, with the threat of divorce, things are a bit more serious!

3. Legal Advice is Non-Negotiable

Above all else, I recommend legal advice in this situation. The poster should consult separate legal counsel. Otherwise, he risks being given the shorter stick. Each spouse must have independent representation to ensure fairness and help overcome legal obstacles. I’d recommend the poster seek this legal help sooner rather than later, especially since divorce has been threatened!

4. Negotiating Custody and Future Strategy

Even though custody agreements for children and pets may not be legally binding in a postnup, discussing these topics now can clarify expectations and reduce future conflict. However, if one party is particularly belligerent on the topic, these arrangements may only bring up more hard feelings. 

Once again, this is a place where legal counsel is highly recommended. Sometimes, it makes sense to have these things in writing now. Other times, it may make more sense to gloss over them. A professional can help determine which case applies here. 

5. Aligning Expectations

This post highlights that differing values can strain even wealthier relationships. I’d highly recommend a mediator or counselor who can help bridge gaps and promote mutual understanding. If anything, a mediator can help both parties understand what they want from the postnup and marriage going forward.