Personal Finance

I'm in my 30s and I've got a $5 million net worth and I get stressed when I spend $100. How can I change my mindset?

Maurie Backman

Published: January 3, 2025 10:08 am

Key Points from 24/7 Wall St.

• If you’re in great shape financially and spending money stresses you out, you may need professional help.
• Consider a therapist to work on the anxiety angle.
• Consult with a financial advisor for peace of mind.
• Retiring early is possible, and may be easier than you think. Click here now to see if you’re ahead, or behind. ^(Sponsor)

My financial picture improved quite a bit in my 30s compared to my 20s despite adding kids to the mix (and the expenses that came with them). By my 30s, I no longer had student loans to pay off, I owned a house I had a nice amount of equity in, and my savings (both emergency and retirement) were in decent shape.

Now I can’t tell you exactly what my net worth was throughout my 30s. But I can say that it wasn’t $5 million. So when I stumbled across this Reddit post by someone in their mid-30s with a roughly $5 million net worth who struggles to spend money, I was intrigued.

The poster explains that they get stressed about spending $100 and always choose the cheapest hotels because they value not being price-gouged. But they also acknowledge that they feel they need to change their approach to spending larger amounts. And I agree.

Know where you stand

The average American under age 35 has a net worth of about $183,000, per the Federal Reserve, while the average American aged 35 to 44 has a net worth of about $550,000. If you’re in your mid-30s with a net worth of about $5 million, that alone tells you that you’re ahead of the game.

But it’s important to recognize the difference between a high net worth and spendable cash. Your net worth is the total of your assets minus your liabilities. It’s possible that you have a large net worth because you bought a house that shot up in value in a short period of time, and that you have a lot of money in your retirement portfolio.

Both of these are good things. But it’s also a good thing to be careful with spending because the bulk of your net worth may be tied up in assets that are illiquid, like real estate, or in assets you can’t touch without a penalty at your age, like an IRA or 401(k).

At the same time, though, it’s hard for me to imagine a scenario where someone with a $5 million net worth can’t afford a $100 purchase here and there, or can’t afford more than a bare bones hotel room when they take a vacation. So if you’re having a hard time spending your money, I suggest getting help.

And I’m not being snarky here. There are different professionals you can work with so you’re able to better enjoy your money rather than have it be a source of stress.

Resources to take advantage of

If you’re in a similar boat to the Reddit poster above, one thing you may want to do is talk to a therapist. It may be that you grew up without money and have some leftover trauma from that. Or it may be that you have certain fears that no amount of money in the bank will alleviate without intervention. Don’t hesitate to seek counseling if your concerns about not having enough money are preventing you from enjoying life to a reasonable degree.

Then there’s the financial side of things. A financial advisor may be able to provide the reassurance you need that it’s okay to spend some of your money on occasion. They can also help you set up a budget and determine how much you can comfortably allocate to luxuries while keeping your long-term goals in mind.

I can admit that because I grew up without a lot of money and started off adulthood with debt (thanks, college), it took me a while to get to a place where I felt comfortable splurging. So I can relate to the poster above to a large degree. But I also think it’s a shame for someone with a $5 million net worth to feel so antsy about opening their wallet from time to time. So I’d encourage anyone in that situation to get the help they need.