Personal Finance

My spouse and I are worth about $3 million and my mom seemed shocked - should we not have told her?

Christy Bieber

Published: January 20, 2025 11:08 am

Should you share the fact that you are wealthy? A Reddit user asked this question recently. He explained that he was discussing estate planning with his mother and mentioned that he and his spouse are worth around $3 million.

He shared that although his parents are also pretty well off due to an inheritance they received a decade ago, his mother still seemed very taken aback by his net worth. He’s now wondering if he should not have told her and if he should keep his wealth a secret from those in his life. 

So, is it better to stay quiet about having millions or is this something that you should share, at least with the people who are closest to you?

Is there any benefit to sharing your net worth with others?

Many of the people responding to the Reddit poster’s threads commented that they kept their net worth a secret from most people, if not everyone, and that they saw no benefit to sharing.

For the most part, this is probably a good rule of thumb. Discussing how much money you have can create a number of problems including: 

• Making people jealous 
• Causing people to ask you for money and creating an awkward situation if you say no or putting you in a position where you must say yes when you don’t want to
• Prompting people to see you differently, or to treat you differently, because you are wealthy

The potential benefits, however, are far fewer.

Now, telling your parents could be something you want to do if you feel like they’d be proud and if you want to give them that gift for the support and encouragement they provided during your lifetime. But, unless you’re confident that they’d react in a positive way there’s no reason to take the risk.

Of course, people may be aware you have money because of how you live your life — especially if you start taking expensive vacations or buying luxury items like a large house or a fancy vehicle. But seeing that you are comfortable and knowing the specific details of your net worth are very different things. 

Your financial journey is your own 

Ultimately, your financial journey and the success you have achieved are accomplishments for you to be proud of, but they are also your business. The only people you need to share the details with are your spouse, your financial advisor, and your estate planner.

While you don’t need to provide details to extended family, however, it is important to ensure that your husband or wife does understand your shared financial circumstances in case something happens to you.

Even if you are the one in the relationship who manages the money, you don’t want to leave your spouse unprepared if you pass away. They should know the details about what assets you have, how to access your accounts, and what to do with your investments in the event of your untimely death.

If you want to help other family members financially during your lifetime, you can also choose to share certain details necessary to do that. 

Outside of these situations, though, staying quiet about your specific net worth is most likely the best course of action to avoid unnecessary issues with those in your life.