Personal Finance

4 ways to deal with being friends with those who don't have the same net worth as you

Katie Price

Published: January 21, 2025 7:30 am

During my daily Reddit scroll, I came across a post that caught my attention. I also felt this topic is relevant to most Americans. From neighbors to colleagues to family, everyone interacts regularly with people who have different net worths. It can be awkward to suggest a restaurant for dinner or a family vacation if those that you’re planning to have significantly more or less money than you do. This post suggested that maybe it’s best to approach the topic upfront to avoid future awkwardness.

Let’s Set the Scene

The original Redditor told a story of a middle-class upbringing, where his family was comfortable but not wealthy. Once his parents died, he learned that there was a large inheritance coming his way. He continues even now to live a more modest lifestyle and relates better to those without millions, but is extremely uncomfortable when it comes up casually in conversation. He wondered how the “millionaires next door” types had this discussion with middle-class friends. Rather than staying silent during topics of retirement, travel, or employment, he wanted to contribute to the cause without boasting about his money. Recognizing that this problem was more in his head than he thought, he still found advice from those in similar situations.

We’ve put together four important pieces of that here. These tips are what I felt was important in the post, but it’s always a good idea to talk to a professional financial advisor for any questions about your money.

Stay Within Your Own Budget

It’s not necessarily about the money but what you’ve budgeted for yourself, and that’s a topic everyone can understand. One poster discussed a trip to Las Vegas where they gambled away some money. Upon returning home, they were asked how much they won or lost. They simply answered that they stayed within their budget and left it at that.

Treat Them When You Can

Say you want to try an expensive new restaurant, but you know your friends can’t afford it. This may be a time when a little white lie is okay for keeping friendships intact. Plan a celebration for yourself there for a birthday, a promotion, or a date. Another poster gave the idea to suggest that you want to pay with credit card points before they expire. Make it clear from the beginning that you plan to pay so your friends aren’t nervous about dinner the whole time.

Another poster said they treat their friends when it’s an expensive place, and allow their friends to treat them when it’s a more modest place. Let the graciousness flow both ways when your friends want the opportunity to pay.

Talk Finances and Stock, But Not Money

Discuss finances, hobbies, and stocks, but there’s no reason to bring up exact money amounts. If you’re set for life, discuss percentages rather than exact numbers. Your closest friends may know what you’re worth, but there’s no rule that requires you to give anyone an updated amount regularly.

The Takeaway: Choose Your Friends Wisely

Some people are just uncomfortable with discussions about money and will envy you no matter how much or little you have. If friends find out your net worth and seem to resent you or start asking for money, they may not be the best people to surround yourself with period. Choose friends who chase ambition instead of lifestyle and dollar amounts.