Personal Finance

2 years ago I won millions of dollars in the lottery and I don't want to be the jerk that cuts his family member off but I'm going to

Christy Bieber

Published: January 23, 2025 3:17 pm

Winning the lottery can be both a blessing and a curse, as a Reddit user found out after he won millions.

The original poster (OP) is from a state that does not allow anonymous lottery winners. As a result, his win became public. Knowing that he would spend the rest of his life bothered by loved ones asking for money, he came up with an innovative solution. He created a trust and named a trustee. He then told his loved ones that if they had an emergency and needed funds, they should ask the trustee for the money and the trustee would decide whether to release it.

This worked well until one of his cousins began taking advantage of the situation. Now, the OP is thinking about cutting off that cousin, but he’s not sure if doing so would make him a jerk. Here are the details about what happened, along with some advice for the OP about whether he’s making the right move. 

Is it OK to cut off a family member who causes problems?

To understand why the OP wants to cut off his cousin, it’s helpful to take a look at what happened.

The OP refers to the cousin as “Dale,” even though that isn’t his real name. Apparently, Dale called up the trustee and asked for money to buy a $75K truck despite the fact the trust fund was supposed to be there for pressing needs and Dale already had a car. The trustee said no to buying the vehicle, but offered $5k from the trust for the down payment. Dale took the money and bought the truck, but then he proceeded to try to scam the trust out of the payments for it. 

The trustee informed the OP that Dale wasn’t making truck payments. Instead, he’d wait until he was a few months behind and call the trustee for “help” since he was past due. When the trustee told the OP this had happened repeatedly, the OP removed Dale’s access to the trust. Then, Dale went on Facebook and made a post saying he couldn’t wait for the OP to die because the OP is selfish and Dale wants to inherit all the money once the OP is gone. 

In this case, it seems clear that Dale’s behavior was horrible. He tried to take advantage of the good things that the OP was doing for his loved ones. Not only did Dale treat the OP badly, but he risked wasting trust assets that were supposed to be there for everyone to use in an emergency. The OP is absolutely right to remove Dale’s access and, if other family members are mad at that choice, the OP can let them know what Dale did. 

How to deal with money and family issues

The OP’s story is one many lottery winners are familiar with. Far too many people who win big end up losing friends and loved ones whose true colors come out as they get greedy for a piece of the cash.

The OP came up with a better solution than most but is still left dealing with problems because of one cousin who chose to be ungrateful. This scenario shows why money and family don’t mix. It’s best to avoid the issue by keeping your financial details secret between you and your spouse when possible — but of course that wasn’t the case here.

In this situation, an in others where you must deal with loved ones asking for money, it’s best to have clear policies you stick to no matter what. By removing Dale’s trust access, the OP shows he is serious about the funds being used for their intended purpose — helping with important things. Hopefully, this lesson will extend to both Dale and other family members so they’ll know not to abuse the Redditor’s generosity in the future.