Personal Finance

My friends joke about my wealth and it makes me uncomfortable - should I say something?

Maurie Backman

Published: January 28, 2025 9:34 am

The concept of being wealthy is an interesting one — namely, because it can mean different things to different people. For some, being rich could mean managing to cover monthly bills without stress and still having money left over. For others, it could mean being in a position to acquire certain assets, whether it’s a home, a second home, a boat, or something else.

But because people perceive wealth differently, relationships can get strained when one member of a given social circle is thought of as “the wealthy one” of the bunch. And things can get even more dicey when actual comments are made about other people’s wealth, even if no harm is meant.

Such is the situation this Reddit poster is in. They say they earn a decent income and live comfortably, and because of this, their friends tend to make jokes about how well off they are.

Compounding the issue is that they don’t feel rich by any means. So it’s a tough situation to be in overall. But I happen to think that honesty is the key to addressing the topic at hand.

When finances get in the way of friendship

It’s a pretty natural thing for friends to be jealous of one another because of money. It’s also a pretty natural thing to make assumptions about the amount of money our friends have without knowing the facts.

But here’s the thing — you never really know what someone else’s financial picture looks like unless you happen to have access to their bank statements and tax returns.

A friend who shows up to work in a designer suit may have gotten it on clearance. Or maybe their sibling works for that designer and got it as a freebie. So it’s best not to make assumptions about the amount of money other people have — especially your friends, since that could impact your relationships.

Meanwhile, I can see that this poster is frustrated by the comments that are made about their financial status. The poster could let the people making those comments know that they’re not as well off as they think. But I don’t recommend that.

The reason? It misses the point.

The reality is that if this person’s friends value the relationship, they shouldn’t be making comments that are upsetting, period. So what this poster needs to do is sit their friends down and be honest about how those comments make them feel. They should also explain that whatever financial status they reached was attained through hard work and diligent money management — and that’s not something that should be mocked or scorned.

Hopefully, once the poster has that discussion, it’ll help their friends realize they’ve been being jerks, and they’ll stop that behavior. Or maybe they won’t. But in that case, at least the poster will be in a position to decide whether those friendships are worth maintaining.

Financial advice could help on both sides

Of course, another thing this poster could do is suggest that their friends seek help from a qualified financial advisor to review their own situations. It may be that the comments being made are coming from a place of insecurity, so sitting down with an advisor might help the poster’s friends feel better about their personal finances.

I’d also suggest that the poster themself work with a financial advisor — not because of their friends’ comments, but because I happen to think it’s a smart thing to do on a whole. The poster doesn’t consider themself well off, but with the help of an advisor, they might change their tune and gain some much-deserved confidence about their financial situation.