Personal Finance

My deceased wife left my kids $400k and I don't think that was the best decision

Christy Bieber

Published: January 30, 2025 5:50 am

A caller to the Dave Ramsey show recently expressed regrets about a decision he made when his wife was dying. His wife told him she wanted to leave a legacy for their two children, and so she convinced him to sign a quit claim deed and give each of the kids a 25% stake in the family home. 

Now, the caller is remarrying and wants to move with his new wife to an expensive area. When he sells the family home, which is worth around $800K to $900K, each of his children will receive somewhere between $175,000 and $270,000.

He claimed to Dave that he was worried this would teach his children the wrong lesson since they’d be getting a large windfall and said he regretted signing over a share of the home. He asked Dave what he should do. So, what’s the best course of action?

Undoing a deed transfer isn’t going to happen — and it shouldn’t

Ramsey was initially supportive of the caller’s concerns that it might not be a good idea for an 18 and 21-year-old to get such a large sum of money.

However, as the call went on, some more details came out that changed things. The caller ended up telling Dave that his children were pretty set on getting the money — which means they would be unwilling to sign over their share of the house to Dad. The caller also said that he wanted the equity in the home so he could put it toward the new property he was buying with his new wife. 

Upon hearing these details, Ramsey said correctly that there was no way to make the kids sign over the house and that the caller likely should not even try because he would be going against his dead wife’s wish, would seem greedy to the kids, and could jeopardize their relationship. 

Ramsey is absolutely correct here. The caller’s wife made a point to take care of her children and ensure that they got her half of the house. It appears she made a very smart decision in doing so because — reading between the lines here — it’s pretty clear that Dad’s concern is not protecting his children from the stress of managing a large inheritance but is instead getting a nice new place for him and his new wife. 

The law won’t allow him to undo his quit claim deed, and if he tries, his kids have every right to be very angry and refuse his efforts.

Using the right estate planning tools is crucial

The children’s mother in this case did a very good thing to protect her kids, but she may not have used the perfect tool to do it.  While she made certain her kids got a share of the shared family home, the rest of the shared marital assets are likely to be spent by the dad and his new wife. There is also the issue of the fact that the kids are young and may struggle to use the money responsibly, especially as it appears Dad may not have their best interests at heart and be able to provide unbiased and trusted advice.

Other estate planning tools could potentially have helped this mother to structure her children’s inheritance in a better way. For example, the couple could have used tools like a trust and a life estate to allow the husband to use shared marital assets during his lifetime but to ensure that all of the couple’s shared money and property went to the kids upon his death. 

Ultimately, though, what the mom did was much better than nothing because the dad’s behavior shows the risks of dying without ensuring your legacy is strong. Everyone should talk to an estate planning lawyer about their best options for providing for their children and protecting their wealth. By using appropriate tools, you can make sure your kids don’t end up getting disinherited if the last surviving parent remarries and fails to put his kid’s interests first after doing so.