Personal Finance

We're in our 30s with more money than I ever dreamed and literally one day before retiring my wife told me she wants a divorce

Joey Frenette

Published: January 30, 2025 9:33 am

It must be such a great feeling to reach a stage in your life where you feel like you’ve saved up more than you ever expected you would. Indeed, smashing past your own financial expectations is something to be celebrated.

But there’s more to life than just finances. Indeed, in the case of this overachieving Reddit poster, who took to the r/fatFIRE, they’re probably feeling bittersweet as they wind down for an early retirement while still in their 30s. With the poster’s significant other asking for a divorce just a day after hitting the retirement button, they’re probably feeling a heck of a lot more bitter than sweet.

In any case, celebrating one’s early retirement can come later. In the meantime, this poster will have their hands full as they plan to make the most of the tough situation they’ve been dealt. Indeed, there are certainly worse ways to “begin again,” especially with the person poised to walk away with half of the $22 million fortune. In any case, let’s check in on some areas the person could look into as they attempt to take care of things so that they can make the most of their early retirement.

Can a divorce be avoided?

Indeed, divorces can be profoundly expensive, especially if there’s no prenuptial agreement (prenup) in place beforehand. In the case of the Reddit poster, there’s no prenup, so they’d take a massive hit right in the net worth should their significant other walk away and a divorce is finalized. At this juncture, I have no idea if the marriage is salvageable.

They’ve supposedly tried therapy and marriage counseling, but to no avail, at least thus far. Either way, I still think putting in the extra effort to repair the relationship and avoiding a nasty divorce is a top move worth considering. Indeed, some hurtful things may have been said that cannot be taken back. However, I do think giving up on counseling and all sort may not be the best move.

At the end of the day, the time investment and fees charged by such a counselor pale in comparison to the lawyer fees and the pains of losing half of one’s net worth. Additionally, sometimes, all it takes is a chat without any professionals listening and chiming in. 

Add alimony, child support, and other pricey expenditures into the equation, and trying to fix things may be the only way to avoid such a devastating hit to the chin that’s comparable to a devastating (and irrecoverable) stock market crash.

Additionally, with two children in the picture, I do believe that any sacrifices to repair the relationship are well worth exploring, at least in my humble opinion. If not for protecting one’s wealth, for maintaining stability for one’s children.

If divorce is unavoidable, focus on the road ahead.

Sometimes, a divorce just can’t be avoided due to differences built over the years or a sudden change of heart. In any case, focusing on “starting again” at 37 may be a wise idea. Perhaps consulting a financial planner could make sense as one aims to budget for hefty divorce costs while also aiming to grow what remains on one’s net worth. In this case, the person will still have an impressive eight-figure bank account, which is still more than enough to finance the fattest of FIREs.

Either way, I think a certified financial planning pro could take a lot of weight off the shoulders of someone in such a fragile emotional state. While I’m sure a millionaire knows their way around money, the intricacies of divorce and budgeting for a new path forward can be rather complex. Not to mention, one probably won’t be in the right state of mind as they grappled with numerous difficulties en route to eventual divorce.

The bottom line

Divorces just plain stink. Sometimes, it’s unavoidable, even after we’ve given our all to improve things. Though there’s no taking the financial and emotional pains away, there are experts (think an advisor) that can help make the path forward somewhat smoother to walk down.

All the best to this 30-something early retiree as they try to pick themselves up off the tarmac after taking such a brutal hit to the chin at the start of their retirement.