I’m in my early 30’s and seeing people have nice cars and houses and I don’t understand how to get there financially

A caller to the Dave Ramsey Show commented recently that she feels like she’s falling behind her peers in terms of her possessions. The caller explained to Ramsey that she sees other people with nice houses and expensive cars and she wonders what she’s doing wrong not to have the same herself. 

Ramsey’s answer was a simple one, but everyone needs to hear it if they, too, feel like they don’t have all of the luxury items that seem to be so common these days. 

Does everyone else really have better stuff than you?

Ramsey asked the caller’s age and, upon discovering that she’s a millennial, he said that this generation is the first one to really face the struggles the caller is experiencing. He explained that people have always wanted to keep up with the Joneses but that this used to be a little bit easier to deal with when you were comparing yourself only to people who actually lived close to you and who you saw regularly. Back then, you’d know the bad as well as the good about your neighbors, so it didn’t feel as impossible to live up to the standards your peers were setting.

Now, however, people have access to social media networks and they can compare themselves to others across the globe. What’s more, they are comparing themselves only to the very best idealized version of others who they see online. They don’t see the reality behind the flashy cars, nor do they see people living normal, everyday lives. As Ramsey pointed out, it’s only the highlight reel because no one ever posts social media stories about getting an old used car to drive.  They only post the types of things that will engender the type of jealousy and lifestyle envy that Ramsey’s caller was experiencing. 

The reality is that social media isn’t reality. All of the people who the caller knows don’t necessarily have better luxury items than she does. They just make it seem that way with their carefully curated posts online. 

Watch your net worth, not what others are doing

There’s another important thing to realize as well. Having luxury items and being rich are not the same thing. Those people who are posting about their fancy houses and their nice cars may have big mortgages that keep them up at night or they may have a car payment that prevents them from socking away money in their 401(k) to save for retirement. On the flip side, the person driving the average car and living in the small house may be a millionaire or even a billionaire who achieved their financial security by being frugal.

The surest measure of your success is not whether you have fancy stuff, but whether you are growing your net worth and setting yourself up for financial independence and a life free of money worries. Having plenty of savings, limited debt, and a big retirement nest egg that will allow you to leave work when you’re ready with plenty of funds to enjoy your later years is much better than having a fancy car. Those things will benefit you a whole lot more in the long run than buying luxury items to put on social media to impress others.