Personal Finance

How Do I Tell My Friends That Even Though I Have a Lot of Money, I Don’t Want to Spend a Lot of Money?

Joey Frenette

Published: February 5, 2025 11:41 am

Money is a taboo subject among friends and close acquaintances for a reason. Indeed, some folks out there may be inclined to compare themselves in more ways than one. Whether we’re talking about appearances, lifestyle, luxury goods, bank account balances, or spending behavior, it is very human to see how you stack up against your peers. That said, it’s not exactly the healthiest practice in the world, especially if one is inclined to compete with their friends on the front of wasteful spending.

That’s why it’s probably not the best idea to announce to the world that you “have a lot of money” unless, of course, you’re open to welcoming judgment and envious feelings from others (some may be inclined to call you “cheap” if you’re frugal despite pulling in a respectable income). 

In this piece, we’ll investigate the curious case of a Redditor who wants to communicate their well-off financial footing but also wants to steer away from hefty financial expenditures. Indeed, as you may know, going out with the friend group, especially one inclined to spend rather than save, can rack up the credit card bills at the end of the month.

Whether we’re talking about socializing at a fancy restaurant over overpriced drinks or just going shopping at the local mall, the consumer expenditures can really get out of hand. At the end of the day, it’s easier to spend money and break the budget if your friends are doing the same! So, if your friends are making wasteful purchases, you may feel the need to follow suit, whether for the sake of keeping up with appearances or to make a statement among a friend group. 

Giving into peer pressure by going out with spend-heavy friends can be hazardous to your wealth!

Indeed, you’ve probably heard that incredibly popular saying from author and businessman Jim Rohn, who once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

So, if you’re spending the vast majority of your time with reckless spenders who couldn’t care less about saving for retirement or investing, you’re probably going to spend more than you would have if you hung out with frugal, like-minded folks.

In the case of the Redditor, who posted in the r/Fire subreddit (short for financial independence, retire early), they’re clearly keen on saving up enough for a nest egg to support an earlier retirement. Indeed, with responsible financial habits, one may be able to leave the labor force a couple of years or even more than a decade before they turn 60. However, if they keep spending money hand over fist, potentially due to peer pressure, they could run the risk of jeopardizing their early retirement dreams.

When it comes to this Reddit poster’s “friends,” who they referred to as “anti-budget” types, I’d be inclined to look for a new group of friends or make it crystal clear that you have zero intention to “blow money” with them. Indeed, if the attitudes don’t shift, perhaps it’s better to look elsewhere for the sake of a more prosperous financial future.

How to keep “anti-budget” friends without breaking the bank

Of course, not everyone is going to be willing to ditch a friend group for the sake of better financial habits. An alternative way to go is to be vague with regard to one’s financial situation and perhaps give the impression that one doesn’t have disposable income to waste on shopping sprees or eating out. Indeed, there are many ways to go about this.

Personally, I’d keep things simple and transparent by saying that I cannot afford to waste money at this time. If you’re paying yourself first by saving and investing, and if discretionary (wants) expenditures do not fit in the budget, it is true that you do not have the “extra” cash in the budget to splurge. At the end of the day, it’s more about knowing your budget and staying within it rather than how much you’re worth. 

If that’s not acceptable with one’s friend group, it’s probably time to move on. Otherwise, suggesting some budget-friendly experiences (there are many of them!) ought to be considered. If they are “real” friends, they’ll stick around, regardless of your ability to spend.