Personal Finance

I Trained Myself to Feel Good About Saving Money—Here’s How You Can Too

Dana George

Published: February 8, 2025 8:55 pm

How much the average American has tucked away in savings is a matter of debate, and if you look hard enough, you’ll find a host of different numbers. Ultimately, what other people have saved doesn’t matter, though. What matters is how you’re doing. If you don’t have enough to cover an emergency or you lie awake at night worrying about whether you’ll ever be able to retire, this article is for you. As someone who used to live on the chemical high of needless spending, I know how challenging it can be to switch your mindset — but it can be done. Here’s how.

How a rush of chemicals comes into play

You know how some people spend money when they’re depressed, calling it “retail therapy?” Turns out they’re on to something. According to the Cleveland Clinic, our brains release a slew of happy hormones when we shop, including dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins.

And you want to know what’s even wilder? These hormones don’t only get released when we spend money. Studies show that even thinking about spending money can cause happy hormones to surge through our bodies.

This chemical reaction is thanks to the part of our brains associated with pleasure and reward. Even when we’re spending our money to buy something, the reward center says, “Yay, for you!”

And you know that jolt of energy you feel when you score an incredible deal? It’s the same surge of hormones. Let’s say you find a coat that’s usually $400 on sale for $50. You don’t need a new coat, but leaving such a great deal on the table seems like a waste. All the way to the car, you’re walking on air because you saved so much money. It’s not until later, when the hormones have subsided, that you admit that you didn’t need the coat and that $50 could have been better spent elsewhere.

I’m not blaming hormones, but…

My husband and I married very young and spent the first decade of our marriage getting through college. By the time graduation rolled around, we also had two children, a mortgage, and no money in savings. Stress was such a constant in our lives that I thought it was normal. If we had an extra $10 I’d spend it on a throw pillow or candle, just because it felt so good to experience that rush. 

I remember justifying my shopping habit by telling myself that even if I saved the $10 instead of spending it, we’d still only have $10 put away. At the time, the goal was to feel good in the moment. I’d worry about the future later.

Developing a new muscle

I wish I could say that my habit of spending instead of saving was short-lived, but it wasn’t. I wish I could tell you that I had a big revelation and suddenly adopted a new habit, but that’s not the way it worked either. What happened was this (in no particular order):

• Brain tumor resulting in massive medical bills
• Job loss
• Dependency on credit cards
• Rapidly growing children who really wanted to go to college one day
• Selling a home during the Great Recession

At some point, enough was enough.  We spent two years digging our way out of credit card and medical debt, and by the time we were done, the idea of ever being in that position again made me sick. Instead of being driven by emotional spending, I found myself thinking more about the future. I not only wanted to send the boys to college, but I wanted a healthy emergency fund, and for my husband to eventually get to retire. 

These new goals overrode the desire I had to spend money on another tchotchke, knickknack, doodad, or whatnot.  I realized that I couldn’t waste money and save money at the same time. I had to make a choice, and I chose the future. And that’s when things began to change. Slowly, I developed new saving muscles. The more I worked on them, the easier saving became. 

Rather than spend an extra $10, I began tucking it away in savings. Instead of only contributing what we thought “we could afford” to our retirement accounts, we systematically began to add more, sure that it would become painful at some point and we would have to stop. Oddly, that didn’t happen. We raised our contributions slowly enough to get used to it, like easing into a pool. 

The reward

With a couple of years, all those small deposits into savings had grown into a fair-sized emergency fund and thanks to compound interest, our retirement accounts were killing it. My happy hormones were on fire, thrilled by the change in circumstances. I found that the more I focused on future goals, the more my brain wanted to play along by rewarding me with a surge of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins.

When I resisted the urge to buy something I didn’t need, I felt good about the decision for hours. Somewhere along the way, I began thinking of myself as a saver — not because we were rolling in dough but because I was making a conscious choice to prepare for the future. It shifted the way I felt about myself. I realized that I could change bad habits and could be pretty good with money. Once I figured that out, I wanted to learn everything I could about finances, I wanted to manage our money even better. 

If saving money is tough for you, my advice is to take the plunge. Start with something simple, like throwing spare change from the day into a bowl each night, and when the bowl is full enough, depositing it into a savings account. When you’re tempted to buy something you can live without, consider your future. What will be your financial goals five years now? What about 25 years from now? The goal is to slowly train your saving muscles so that any success you experience floods you with happy hormones.

It may not happen overnight, but I’m here to testify: It is possible to gain as much pleasure from saving as from spending. 

Why this subject is important

It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that everything about you is fixed, from personality to habits. Nothing could be further from the truth. Even as an adult, you never stop developing, and if one of your goals is to become a saver, it’s within your power to make it happen.