Personal Finance

Spouse Tuned Out on Money Matters? 3 Ways to Get Them Engaged

Maurie Backman

Published: February 8, 2025 11:03 am

When you’re married, it’s not a given that you and your spouse will do every single thing together. It may be that one of you likes to attend concerts while the other prefers a quiet night at home. And it may be that you don’t agree on your favorite cuisines, so it’s easier to cook your own meals than share them.

Along these lines, just because you’re active in managing your household finances doesn’t mean your spouse feels the same. They may be more than content to sit back and let you do the heavy lifting, from managing your investment portfolio to making sure all of the monthly bills are paid.

But the reality is that it’s important for couples to be on the same page financially. And it’s also important for each adult in the household to have a pulse on the financial end of things. So it’s in your best interest to try to get your spouse more engaged in money matters. And here are a few ways to go about that.

1. Set joint financial goals

Your spouse might find the idea of managing finances boring. But if you engage them in a conversation about joint goal setting, they may be more interested in those discussions.

So invite your spouse out to a nice café, or crack open that bottle of wine you’ve been saving for a special occasion, and map out a list of financial objectives that mean a lot to both of you. Those could run the gamut from retiring securely to buying a beach house to putting your kids through college.

2. Make budgeting fun

Budgeting has a reputation for being a boring thing to do. But it doesn’t have to be. And it’s also an important exercise, because many people fall short of their savings goals or end up in debt in the absence of having a budget.

It’s important to get your spouse involved in budgeting because spending money is something both of you surely do. To that end, go through your expenses and analyze them together. Also, work together to set spending priorities. If it’s more important to both of you to have a nice vacation each year, then you may decide jointly to cut back on a few other luxuries to make that happen.

You can also implement a rewards program you both get to benefit from for sticking to your budget if that’s something you struggle to do. For example, if there’s money left over at the end of the month after paying all of the bills and putting some cash into savings, you could tell yourselves you’ll spend those funds on a night out, or on a purchase you can enjoy using together, like a new kitchen gadget.

3. Get educated together

Seeking information jointly can be a good bonding experience for spouses. And it can also be an important step on the road to meeting your financial goals.

There may be financial products that can benefit you and your spouse that you both need to learn more about. For example, REITs (real estate investment trusts) are a great way to break into real estate investing without having to go out and buy physical properties. And because REITs are required to distribute at least 90% of their taxable income as dividends to shareholders, they could be a great income-producing asset for your portfolio.

If REITs are a product you know little about yourself, rather than stay away, invite your spouse to do some research with you. And then repeat that process together across other products you might both be less than familiar with.

It’s also a good idea to engage the services of a financial advisor. An advisor can help you and your spouse work together toward financial goals and offer guidance on suitable investments given your respective appetites for risk.

Plus, having an advisor to meet with on a somewhat regular basis gives your spouse more accountability. It’s one thing to blow off a budgeting sit-down with you, but it’s another thing to bail on a scheduled meeting with a financial advisor in their office. So that alone might do the trick of getting your spouse more involved in financial matters.