Personal Finance

My daughter was invited along on her wealthy friend’s vacation and now they are asking for her expenses be covered after the fact

Christy Bieber

Published: February 13, 2025 5:12 pm

A Reddit user was surprised to find she received a bill after her daughter accompanied a friend on vacation. The original poster (OP) said that her daughter went to Costa Rica with a friend from school, along with the friend’s parents and grandparents. The OP expected to be charged for the food her daughter ate and for excursions and activities like zip lining but was surprised when she was sent a request to pay not just for those items but a portion of the accommodations and car rental too. 

The OP was surprised because when her family had invited a different friend of their daughter’s on a family vacation, they covered all of those costs and wouldn’t have considered charging the family for a rental property or car they were paying for anyway. While the OP said she does have the money to cover the costs, she doesn’t think that she should have to because this wasn’t discussed up-front. 

So, should the OP pay the bill or say something?

Should you get stuck with a bill after your kids are invited on vacation?

The OP could have saved herself a lot of aggravation and hassle if she had discussed the details of the trip, including payment arrangements, before allowing her daughter to go.

Whenever you or your kids are invited somewhere that comes at a big cost, it’s a good idea to make sure you understand exactly what part of the bill you’ll be expected to pay before you join in so your savings doesn’t take a hit due to surprise expenses. 

Since the OP didn’t do that in this case, she has a tough choice to make. She can ask the family about the charges, which could make things awkward, potentially cause anger or resentment, and maybe even impact her daughter’s friendship with the girl who took her on vacation. Or, she could just pay the bill since she has the money anyway, but this is likely to leave the OP feeling resentful and it would mean they’d be facing expenditures they didn’t plan for. 

Most of the people replying to the Reddit thread did say they felt the OP should not have had to pay, with many commenting that the default assumption when kids are invited along is that they won’t be charged for things like their share of a hotel room. However, there were a few who disagreed and felt the default should be that each person pays their own way, so it’s very possible there is no clear consensus on what the social norm is in this situation. 

Is paying up worth avoiding the awkwardness?

Ultimately, since the OP does have the funds and since this friend is obviously close enough to the family that the parents felt comfortable allowing their daughter to travel to a foreign country with them, it may be better just to bite the bullet and pay rather than to have an uncomfortable conversation that could adversely impact future relations.  The cost may be a small price to pay for many more years of added stress-free friendship with no uncomfortable moments and no one’s feelings being hurt. 

The OP will, of course, want to learn from this experience and make sure to nail down the details before saying yes to any further outings. Still, this one is done and it’s too late for that, so making the best of a bad situation is the only option left.