Personal Finance

My Family Keeps Asking Me for Money - Here's What Dave Ramsey Told Me to Say

Joey Frenette

Published: February 14, 2025 2:12 pm

Family dynamics around the dinner table can really be complicated when money is thrown into the equation. Undoubtedly, it’s good to be generous with our loved ones. However, at the same time, one also doesn’t want to be viewed as the family’s money bags or be treated like some sort of bank. Indeed, perhaps that’s why money, finance, saving, and investing can be such a taboo topic among close members of the family.

Though I do think such a taboo isn’t deserved, I understand why some folks would rather not talk about the size of their piggy bank or cash hoards. At times, money can be a source of envy for those who don’t have it. And if a member of the family makes it a habit of asking for loans or financial gifts, one could jeopardize their own financial goals by their excess generosity.

In this piece, we’ll tune into one of my favorite financial gurus, Dave Ramsey, and explain his take on what to do if a family member asks you for money. I think he’s spot on about how to go about handling the sensitive and very personal subject that could arise for many folks at some point down the line. In one of his recent shows, a caller whose family keeps asking them for money asked how Ramsey would handle the seemingly sticky situation. As usual, Ramsey’s solution seems to be right on the money.

Don’t let money ruin those family gatherings!

That’s why it’s so important to find the right balance between being generous and building up your own personal nest egg. Furthermore, it’s worth noting that any “loan” to a loved one should be viewed as a gift, given the expectation to be paid back (with or without interest) ought to be low.

Who wants to go chasing a family member around to repay an outstanding debt around Thanksgiving or the Holiday season?

It’s just added stress that I believe is not worth the while. Of course, only you can judge the creditworthiness of a family member. Either way, by giving cash should you have extra you’d be willing to part with, you don’t set yourself up for the pain in the neck that comes with having to play the role of a debt collector!

Dave Ramsey thinks it’s good to know how to say “no.”

It’s good to be generous with those you love, but one has to know when to draw the line and even say “no” when appropriate. Dave Ramsey thinks you should put financial wellness first by setting boundaries and explaining the matter to loved ones in a way that’s conducive to continued good relations. Indeed, you don’t need to be viewed as a scrooge if you’re not willing or in a spot to help out financially. 

Whether it’s a stern “no” or an explanation of some sort like “I’m unable right now,” it’s vital to hold one’s own, even if a family member considers going as far as to guilt-trip. At the end of the day, you’re under no obligation to give loans, payouts, or anything of the sort to anyone who asks.

I find Ramsey’s approach entails the honest truth and a strong position that commands respect. At the end of the day, it’s up to you whether you’re willing or able to provide financial help. If it’s not in the budget, you shouldn’t cave in and give in to any demands or feel like a bad person for not paying up, even if you’re far better off financially. As always, contact a financial advisor or a registered counselor who’s better-versed in family relations if you’re looking to go about navigating such a situation without hurting relations.

The bottom line

I think Dave Ramsey is the guru to follow if you’re looking to better manage family relations around money.

In short, if it’s not in the budget and you’re growing tired of financial requests from family, just saying “no” should not have to be a stretch. Either way, there are more than a few ways to go about defusing the matter without allowing your retirement savings to take a hit to the chin.