Personal Finance

My mother is passing with $1 million to her name - should this cash go to me or to the grandkids?

Maurie Backman

Published: February 16, 2025 10:02 am

In the next 20 years, an estimated $84 trillion in assets is expected to change hands as older generations pass down inheritances to their children and grandkids. If you’re expecting an inheritance, you may be conflicted about how to use it. And that’s understandable.

In this post, we have someone who’s expecting a $1 million inheritance from their mother. And they’re wondering if the money should go to them or their children — meaning the mother’s grandchildren.

It’s an important matter to get to the bottom to. But it’s best to have open conversations so that everyone is on the same page.

Talking things out is best

Many families avoid discussing inheritances because the topic can be delicate and, frankly, uncomfortable. But the reality is that it’s important to make sure everyone is synced up in this regard so that your older family members’ wishes are carried out, and so that there are no hard feelings after they pass.

In this situation, I’d encourage the poster to gather their children and mother and have a conversation. They can do this alone or with the help of an estate planning lawyer or financial advisor.

The poster should ask their mother what she wants to do with her money since, well, it’s hers. And the mother should be honest about her wishes.

Of course, with an inheritance that large, there’s plenty of room to share the wealth. But it’s still best to have that conversation.

When you inherit money and have to wing it

In some cases, people like the poster above inherit money before they’re able to ask their loved ones about their wishes. If you end up in that boat, and you’re the sole beneficiary of a parent’s estate, you’ll need to look within yourself to decide what the right thing to do is.

Sure, you could potentially keep all of the money and buy yourself a vacation home and boat. Or, you could use the money to retire early.

But if you have kids, you probably want what’s best for them. And what’s best for them may include getting a share of that inheritance so they use it to better their own financial situations, whether that means paying off student loans, putting a down payment on a house, or going back to school for an advanced degree.

If you happen to come into a large sum of money, it’s also a good idea to sit down with a financial advisor so they can help you manage it. This holds true whether you’re keeping all of the money for yourself or plan to split it among your children and other members of your family.

Remember, too, that if you come into a large sum of money, you may be inclined to take on certain expenses that cause you to get in over your head. So it’s smart to consult with a financial advisor who can help you avoid that unwanted scenario, and instead help make sure that you’re using that money to improve your financial picture.