Personal Finance

My parents think that because we paid off our debt that we have so much more money now and they won't stop asking us for money

Maurie Backman

Published: February 20, 2025 7:24 am

When different people within the same family end up with varying levels of wealth, it can lead to bad feelings — and in some cases, unreasonable demands. That’s the situation a woman named Brittany is in.

Brittany called into the Dave Ramsey show upset because her parents have been pressuring her to give them money. She explained that she grew up in a poor household but married someone who was better off. Through hard work, she and her spouse managed to get $50,000 in debt paid off.

But because of that, her parents now think that she has all this money — and that she should feel obligated to share it.

Dave Ramsey had some choice words in response. And while I don’t always agree with him on financial matters, in this situation, I think his advice is spot-on.

You don’t owe anyone anything

It was honestly heartbreaking to hear this woman so upset over her situation. She worked hard and make smart financial choices to pay off $50,000 in debt, only to have her parents not only make her feel guilty about that, but make demands.

Thankfully, Ramsey reassured her that she’s not wrong to say no. And he also said, point blank, “They don’t have rights to your money.”

In fact, Ramsey went so far as to say that what her parents were doing constituted “adult child abuse.”

As he explained, there’s clearly something in Brittany’s parents’ upbringing that makes them feel like it’s okay to bully her into giving them money. But that doesn’t make it right.

Ramsey basically told Brittany that just because it’s her family doesn’t mean she’s required to tolerate poor treatment. So she should absolutely stand her ground and give them nothing.

I happen to agree. It would be one thing if her parents were nicely asking for a loan or for some help because they fell on hard times. But it seems like all they’re doing is bullying her and shaming her for no good reason.

Brittany has nothing to apologize for here. And if she’s not going to be treated kindly, then she shouldn’t give up a dime of her hard-earned money.

A financial advisor could help

While I don’t think Brittany should give her parents money, I do think she can suggest that they meet with a financial advisor. Whether they’re willing to take that advice is a different story.

If they’re the type who are wired to think they’re owed some of her money, then they may not be so willing to sit down with a financial professional. But it’s worth making the suggestion, because an advisor can help them deal with whatever debt they might have and potentially improve their personal income picture.

If they’re not willing to do that, then Brittany should set some boundaries. And I hate to say it, but if they continue to treat her so poorly, she may want to consider keeping her distance.

It’s not an easy thing to walk away from family. But there comes a point when family members cross a line, and her parents are already there.