Personal Finance

I'm 50 and have a beautiful home and travel often - my wife wants to purchase a second home and I'm nervous about the financial commitment

Maurie Backman

Published: March 6, 2025 9:18 am

Many people dream of owning a second home. And it’s certainly a nice luxury if you can swing it.

But owning a primary home is a big expense as it is. Adding a second home to the mix could leave you on the hook for a host of costs that strain your budget. So you’ll need to make sure it’s worth it, and that you can afford it.

Such is the dilemma this Reddit poster is facing. Here, we have a 50-year-old who enjoys traveling with their family. They own a primary residence valued at about $4 to $5 million, which they can afford since they’re earning about $1 million per year.

However, the poster’s wife would like to purchase a beach house for about $3 million. And the poster is hesitant to take on that expense, and understandably so.

It’s a matter of opportunity cost

The poster here can afford to buy a beach house — if they’re potentially willing to give up other things, like travel and time. Not only does it cost money to own a second home, but it takes work. Homes need to be maintained. And even if that upkeep is outsourced, there’s still a time commitment.

Now it happens to be that the poster here is a very high earner. But because they live in an expensive area, a second home will cost a lot. Not only might the expense of that home get in the way of other things they enjoy, like travel, but it could end up impacting their retirement plans.

If the beach home costs more than expected in the form of maintenance, it could make it so the poster has to work longer. In their post, they say they would like to retire in five years. But if they take on a large expense that eats into their savings and/or impacts their ability to save at their ideal level, they may end up having to adjust that goal.

Is it a goal that’s worth adjusting? Only they can answer that. But the tricky thing is that in this situation, the poster doesn’t seem all that interested in owning a second home. Rather, the pressure is coming from the wife to buy that beach house, which makes things tougher.

It’s time for professional help and intervention

The poster here is in a pickle, because their wife really wants this beach house and doesn’t seem to be backing down. So I’d suggest that this couple do two things.

First, they should talk to a financial advisor. Let a professional run the numbers and show them what the true cost of the beach house is. And I’m not just talking about maintenance. What I mean is that a financial advisor can show them how buying a beach house might upend other big plans they have.

I would also suggest that if the couple can’t resolve the issue themselves through open conversations, that they talk to a counselor. It would be a shame to have an issue like this impact their relationship. But if need be, a professional can intervene and get them to see each other’s side of the story — and perhaps lead to a good resolution and compromise.

For example, if the wife really wants a beach house and the poster doesn’t want to make that investment, a compromise could be buying a less expensive second home. Or there may be other options that a professional can help them explore.