Personal Finance

I've Socked Away $3M For Retirement, 20 Years Ahead Of Schedule, But Still Can't Get Comfortable Spending

Christy Bieber

Published: March 6, 2025 9:11 am

A Reddit user has $3 million saved for retirement at just 43 years of age, but he isn’t happy with his financial situation despite his success. He explained that he’s constantly afraid of losing his job, and he can’t get comfortable spending money on things — including on a new car, which he says he needs because his old vehicle has over 120,000 miles on it. 

Since most people have far less than $3 million invested, it may seem difficult to believe that he has such a hard time spending money. However, there are some good reasons behind his fears and, while he certainly can afford to enjoy life, he may not want to just splurge on everything he wants despite his millionaire status.

Here’s why the original poster (OP) is so concerned about spending, along with some tips on the best path forward. 

Is the Redditor’s fear of spending money justified?

While being afraid of spending money with a $3 million nest egg seems kind of crazy, the OP’s background is likely shaping his thought process – and, if you do the math, there are also some reasons why he may want to be a little bit more cautious with his expenditures than you might think given the fact he has $3 million saved already in his 40s. 

First and foremost, the OP said that he grew up in an immigrant household where his dad was very strict about money to the point of nearly being abusive. He explained that he wasn’t even allowed $10 for school field trips and was told never to waste funds. Given this kind of upbringing, it’s not at all surprising that spending money is hard for the Redditor. It can be difficult or even impossible to abandon long-held beliefs that you were forcefully taught as a child and the OP may have a very hard time getting over his guilt about buying things. 

That said, while the OP can certainly spend some of his riches, he may also want to be a bit cautious in what he does with the funds. That’s because he said $1 million of his net worth came from the fact he got lucky and sold a website a few years back — which is something he has tried to repeat and failed numerous times at. Now, he is making $150K per year at his job plus gets $50K per year from his investments which is a good amount of money but not a fortune. 

Unlike some millionaires with very high household incomes, the OP can’t just recreate the conditions that caused him to be able to amass $3 million in investments. As a result, if he wants to become truly financially independent ASAP and completely stop worrying about a potential job loss, he’ll want to focus on growing that nest egg rather than spending it.

The compound interest it earns could help take his net worth to the level where he can feel a lot more comfortable with his situation — and perhaps be more comfortable with spending too.

Getting help could make all the difference 

The OP is clearly dealing with two separate issues here. One is his unjustified concern that spending money on things is somehow bad or a problem. That’s simply not true given his net worth and he’ll need to overcome the lessons he was taught in childhood about financial waste at some point. The other issue is a question of how much money he should be spending if he wants to become financially independent and never worry about money again. 

He’d benefit from getting professional help with both of these issues. A therapist could help him confront his feelings about his finances so he can feel more confident in buying things despite his upbringing while a financial advisor can provide advice on what he should be saving, spending, and investing. By working with those two professionals, the OP can learn how best to use his money to build the future he desires and to buy the things he wants and needs guilt-free.