27 Milkshakes With More Calories Than an Entire Meal

There are 310 calories in a snack-size Jamocha Handcrafted Shake, and 750 in a medium.

This is the “low-cal” entry among Arby’s shakes, with a snack serving coming in at 250 calories and a medium at 630.

A woman who wanted to meet a daily calorie goal of 2,000 could enjoy this extravagant shake and still eat one medium-size bagel all day, without butter or cream cheese. Period.

Even a small serving of this shake exceeds 700 calories, at 760.

Swapping chocolate for vanilla saves you 60 calories, though at this level, who’s counting?

A shake the Burger King menu describes as simply an Oreo Shake (without added chocolate?) is also over the limit, at 720 calories.

This dinner house chain, famous for its extravagant portions, offers just four “creamy milkshake” varieties — chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, and Oreo — in one size only.

This calorie count for a chocolate shake without cookie or candy add-ins is higher than usual.

The Cheesecake Factory’s strawberry milkshake shares the same calorie count as this one.

Cold Stone lists calorie counts for their milkshakes (which come in two sizes, regular and large) both with and without their “whipped topping” (made with hydrogenated palm, palm kernel, coconut, and/or cottonseed oil, corn syrup, and sugar, among other things). This number is without. With the topping, it would climb up to 1740.

With whipped topping added, this shake reaches 1,440 calories.

Cold Stone lists just six varieties of shake. With two sizes and the whipped topping option, that adds up to 24 in all. Of that number, only one shake — the smaller, untopped Savory Strawberry, is under 700 calories.

Dairy Queen’s shakes come in small, medium, and large — no snack or mini sizes.

The chain takes a signature drink, adding whipped topping. A small shake has less than twice the calories, at just 430.

Some 13 Dairy Queen shakes in all — including the three on this list — exceed 700 calories. The chain’s trademark Blizzards, which are soft-serve ice cream with various cookies, candies, or brownies blended in, also frequently contain more than the limit.

This chain’s “whipped topping” — made with fully hydrogenated palm kernel oil, sugar, and a bunch of things that end in “-ate” — is responsible for 110 calories of the 1170. (An equivalent quantity of real whipped cream would come in slightly higher, at 124 calories.)

Get a smaller version of this shake — 16 ounces instead of 24 — and it’s a mere 800 calories.

Of the four varieties of shake on the Jack in the Box menu, each available in two sizes, the only one whose calorie count doesn’t exceed 700 is the smaller Vanilla Shake with Whipped Topping — and that’s 700 calories exactly.

You know a chain with this name has got to be serious about shakes. Shake Shack lists 13 varieties (one size) on their nutritional chart, but only six on their menu. This is the biggest calorie bomb in both places.

It’s not on the menu, but in the chain’s nutritional data, what would otherwise be the second-most-caloric shake isn’t this one, but something called the TKO’ Clock Chocolate Cookies and Cream Shake. If this is a reference to TKO Chocolate Cookies, as it appears to be, Shake Shack might have plans to move onto higher ground: That’s also the name of THC-laced edibles.

The only other shake on the Shake Shack menu besides this one that exceeds 700 calories is the plain chocolate version, at 750.

This is one of a special category Sonic calls Master Shakes — which it describes as classic shakes “made even more indulgent with premium flavors and ingredients.” Like all the chain’s shakes, it’s available in mini, small, medium, and large sizes.

The absence of Oreos demotes this shake to the simple “classic” category, with a loss of 230 calories compared with its more masterful sibling.

Of Sonic’s 48 shakes in various sizes, 27 (including the three here) exceed 700 calories, and 15 of those come in at 1000 or more.

Another chain whose very name calls out milkshakes, this operation lists some 40 varieties, each available in regular or small/kids sizes.

Many of the offerings here involve mix-in ingredients like Oreos, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, M&Ms, and Heath, Snickers, and Kit Kat bars.

Some 21 Steak ‘n Shake milkshakes (the three here included) exceed the 700 calorie mark.