Inflatable Surfboards and Other Weird Stuff You Can Buy at Costco

It’s probably a little flimsy for your mega-yacht, but if you want to tie up your kayak or your dinghy in the pond out back, this might be just the thing — an eight-foot-long aluminum dock frame that you can assemble yourself. It’s not quite ready to use once you’ve put it together, though: The decking isn’t included, so you’ll need do-it-yourself flooring, too.

No, it’s not a Chewbacca costume. It’s a three-piece camouflage suit, designed to help you blend in with your surroundings when you’re out in the woods stalking deer. If you plan on actually shooting any, though, you’ll have to stop elsewhere, as Costco doesn’t sell guns.

Let’s go surfin’ now. Just let me pump up my board first. Yes, this 8′ 2″ longboard is inflatable, allowing users “to travel and surf anywhere without flying with a bulky board,” according to the manufacturer’s website.

A girl — even an American Girl doll — gets tired of just sitting around having make-believe spa treatments and hosting miniature tea parties. For a change of pace, now there’s a doll-size bowling alley, complete with a lane, a rental counter, a couple of bowling balls that American Girls can actually hold, and of course some bowling-appropriate food — pretzels, nacho cheese, popcorn, and candy.

It’s fun to grow stuff, but plants can be so needy. This sustainably sourced Canadian spruce elevated planter makes taking care of them a cinch: It includes a six-gallon self-watering irrigation system, so just fill it up and let the tomatoes and the tulips drink their fill without your help.

Before you can start worrying about giving your plants enough water, you have to get them in the ground. Digging little holes for them with one of those old-fashioned trowels can be such a chore. Thank goodness for this electric mini shovel, complete with removable chargeable lithium-ion battery. It “reinvents the shovel and takes the work out of gardening and landscaping!” Costco promises.

Just because you’re roughing it out in the woods doesn’t mean you have to take a bath in a babbling brook or boil water for your instant latte on the campfire. This five-gallon portable propane-powered appliance pours out hot H20 in as little as 30 seconds. (This item may be currently unavailable online.)

You never know when you might need to get down under your car to see what’s making all those screeching and cracking sounds, so this portable lift — capable of raising as much as 7,000 pounds of vehicle weight a few feet off the ground — is a must. Don’t leave home without it.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean somebody’s not out to get you. With this high-tech security system, you get a total of 16 4K cameras, both stationary and mobile, with motion detection capabilities and long-range night vision. Let’s see them try to sneak up on you now.

Want a fireplace without the fire? Without the woodpile and the soot and clogged chimney? This one’s for you: a 23″ video firebox with a “realistic flame and glowing ember bed” (according to one description), plus a thermostat and adjustable temperature and brightness level. And it has a built-in compartment for media devices, so you can watch TV when you get tired of staring into the artificial inferno.

Harrison “Han Solo” Ford personally signed this small (24″ x 36″) poster, nicely framed, for 1980’s “The Empire Strikes Back,” the follow-up to the original “Star Wars.” It’s a rarity, not only in itself but because it’s one of only two signed movie posters Costco currently has on sale.

Among other unexpected specialty areas, Costco deals in sports memorabilia. Probably its rarest item currently is this vintage William White American League baseball autographed by the legendary Mickey Mantle, the star New York Yankees center fielder (among other things) who died in 1995. He signed it with the notation “HOF [Hall of Fame] ’74,” referencing the year he was admitted to the baseball pantheon. Take a swing at this one.

Don’t have time to stop at Tiffany’s on the way home? Costco is no slouch in the fine jewelry department, as indicated by these sparkly earrings. If you’re into diamond specs, the ones inset here boast an 8.04 carat total weight and VS2 clarity.

Pink flamingos and garden gnomes are so passé. These whoppers, steel with a verdigris patina, will float above your lawn or flower bed on 12″ spikes, looking like, well, fish out of water.

If you’re a burger-lover, the turkey version never quite satisfies, but ground turkey is leaner and thus better for you than fatty ground beef, so maybe they’re worth considering at least now and then. These are made with antibiotic- and preservative-free turkey breast meat, seasoned with sea salt, garlic, and various spices, and shaped into 32 5-ounce patties. That’s talking turkey.

High-end wine probably isn’t the first thing you’d think of Costco for, but as of 2016, the chain was the largest retailer of wine in the world, offering some surprisingly good choices. Maybe the most unexpected is this gift set of probably the world’s most famous luxury champagne. Included in the price are two bottles of vintage Dom Pérignon bubbly, one of them the rare rosé, plus two Riedel crystal champagne glasses.

Most cheese is fairly perishable, and so not an ideal food to stock in your survival pantry. This freeze-dried shredded cheddar, though, sealed into six industrial-size #10 cans, will last for 25 years unopened and as long as a year once you take the can opener to it. To use, just add water. Seriously.

Wondering what to nibble with your Dom Pérignon? Freeze-dried shredded cheddar probably isn’t an ideal match. This massive helping of sustainably raised Bulgarian malossol osetra (that’s caviar talk for the good stuff), on the other hand, would be classic champagne fare. The price includes two mother-of-pearl caviar spoons and a caviar tote, in case you want to take it on a picnic.

Honey is delicious in tea or on top of oatmeal, pancakes, or toast, and a useful ingredient in dressings and marinades. It also has numerous health benefits: It soothes burns and sore throats, helps retard the growth of bacteria, and has been hailed as a treatment for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and insomnia, among other afflictions. You’ll want to have plenty of it on hand, then. Like almost 12 pounds worth. Don’t worry if it starts to cloy, though: It’s one of those foods that has an almost indefinite shelf life.

You can never have too much olive oil, right? Four 50-gallon drums of this surprisingly good cold-press extra-virgin oil from Tunisia (the world’s fourth-largest olive oil-producing country), will keep things well-lubricated for quite some time. (This item is currently unavailable online, but to tide you over, there’s a two-pack of three-liter tins now listed.)

Two mics with stand, eight sound effects, 16 multi-colored light effect modes, and of course high-volume speakers — if dragging this thing out when the party’s winding down doesn’t clear the room, nothing will.

This “Classic Smart Bidet Toilet” would be a sleek addition to any bathroom. You may not have known you needed a smart bidet toilet, but you certainly wouldn’t want a stupid one. This model has an LED night light, an automatically opening and closing lid, heated seating, adjustable water pressure with heater and dryer, and automatic flushing.

If you’re an auto racing fan who likes to play pool, this is pretty much a must. Created for the 50th anniversary of famed race car driver Mario Andretti’s Indy 500 win in 1969, it’s a full four-by-eight-foot pool table set into the body of an actual 1969 Chevy Camaro SS, complete with working taillights, alloy rims, tires, and chrome bumpers. Andretti himself signed 50 of these. They are probably, er, going fast.

Why is Costco Wholesale selling caskets? “As a service to our members,” according to their website. In fact, they offer eight different ones, along with two urns for cremated remains. This pretty-in-pink offering is presumably named for the family member it would be most likely to suit. Other caskets are called “The President’s,” “The Royal Silver,” and “The Lord’s Prayer.”

Costco is obviously a discount warehouse store that offers almost everything — even insurance, as it happens. Working with DeltaCare USA, the chain now makes a variety of dental plans at various rates available to its members in nine states. If you plan on eating 12 pounds of honey, you’d better sign up.