Valentine’s Day wraps us in a confectionary cocoon of sugary delights. It’s a day when hearts flutter, and chocolates multiply. Amidst the sweetness, a gentle reminder floats on a breeze reminding us that overindulgence in decadent chocolates and sugary candies will leave us feeling more comatose than cupid-struck. Continue reading to learn about the avalanche of heart-themed treats that could lead you down that confectionary rabbit hole, as 24/7 Wall St. presents our list of the 20 Valentine’s candies to avoid. Our criteria for choosing the candies were perceived healthfulness, value, and originality. As these metrics are more subjective than scientific, we present the list alphabetically.

Brach’s Conversation Hearts

Many report that Brach’s Conversation Hearts have a slightly different flavor profile and texture than the original Necco Conversation Hearts. Apparently, Brach’s hearts have a softer texture and racier sayings than Neccos, but otherwise, the two are similar – similar dull color pallets, similar chalky flavors, but Necco’s Sweetheart Conversation Hearts predate Brach’s by over half a century. Really, who thought it was a good idea to duplicate this atrocity to begin with?

Bottom Line: Get your chalky Valentine’s fix from the original.

Charms Cherry Valentine’s Lollipops

Being allergic to chocolate (I know, I know), I would trade all of my chocolate Valentine’s candy for these tooth-rotting taste treats. Most of my classmates were more than happy to swap. As tasty as they are, Charms lollies are not a healthful choice. From questionable ingredients like artificial dyes and bioengineered ingredients (High Fructose Corn Syrup) to their tooth-decaying properties, Charms are not very charming.

Bottom line: If you must indulge, brush your teeth afterward. Twice.

Dum Dum Friendship Exchange Heart Pops

Second verse; Same as the first; Could get better, but it only gets worse. Dum Dums are basically Charms with salt. Dum Dums Friendship Exchange Heart Pops are a heart-shaped variation of original Dum Dums lollipops. Produced by Spangler Candy Company, Dum Dums come in a variety of flavors and colorful wrappers, and the Friendship Exchange Heart Pops align with the brand’s playful spirit.

Bottom line: Since Spangler has discontinued their Save Wrappers initiative, perhaps they could replace it with a Brush Teeth challenge?

Haribo Sweet and Sour Hearts

Haribo Sweet and Sour Hearts are a delightfully sticky confection that replace the usual Haribo bear lineup with heart-shaped gummies. These candies feature the iconic gummi texture associated with Haribo. That iconic adheres-to-your-molars texture? Yeah, that’s the one! Haribo’s hearts also contain palm oil and palm kernel oil. The harvesting of these oils is destroying tropical forests and the habitats of endangered species like rhinos and tigers.

Bottom line: Do your molars and the rhinos a solid and forego the Haribo this Valentine’s Day.

Harry and David Artisan Truffles

I love Harry and David. I love it so much that after my marriage dissolved, upon receiving the ex’s corporate H&D holiday box, I simply accepted it and wrote the boss a nice thank you note – signed by the ex. I’ve been keeping up the charade for 15 years. AITA?  I mean it just wouldn’t be Christmas without the golden pear. And while I can’t eat chocolate, I understand that H&D’s truffles are delish. For Valentine’s, they’re marketing pastel air-brushed artisan truffles. However, 24 pieces for $55.00? That’s rather extravagant, and not an accessible price point for the majority of lovestruck teenagers and twenty-somethings.

Bottom line: There are more meaningful, less ephemeral Valentine gifts to be had for $55.00.

Hershey’s Extremely Creamy Hearts

Hershey’s Extremely Creamy Hearts, produced by America’s traditional chocolate brand, are exactly what you would expect: A big hunk of perfectly acceptable chocolate. The creaminess, however, results from the addition of polyglycerol polyricinoleate, an emulsifier that is a mixture of glycerol and fatty acids. While this ingredient is considered safe at present, studies are ongoing and limits have been placed on the amount allowed in foods. Of note: Hershey’s Extremely Creamy Hearts are manufactured on equipment that also processes peanuts.

Bottom line: Treat your Valentine to more natural, less creamy chocolate.

Jelly Bean Planet Heart Beats Valentine’s Candy

Jelly Bean Planet Heart Beats Valentine’s Candy has a lot of issues. They claim to be 100% vegetarian with natural flavors, plant-based colors, and allergen-free, in sustainable packaging. Sounds good! Skreeeeeeech! Hold on, what’s this? Jelly Bean Planet Heart Beats contain gluten-free wheat? What on earth? Yep! According to the ingredients list, these magic beans contain wheat that has had the gluten processed out of it! Wow, how natural. Kinda makes one question all of their bold declarations. Also, Jelly Bean Planet Heart Beats cost twice as much as most Valentine’s treats.

Bottom line: There’s a sucker born every minute and many of them believe in gluten-free wheat. 

Jelly Belly Conversation Beans

Known for their vibrant colors and true-to-life flavors, Jelly Belly jelly beans contain a burst of joy in every bite. And while Jelly Belly could have simply called it in and mushed their usual kidney-shaped beans into hearts, they instead went with the Valentine’s trend of adding a line of conversation beans. Unless you rely on textese for the majority of your conversations, I’m afraid Jelly Belly doesn’t have much to offer. LOL. Beyond this lack of originality, the sugary nature of jelly beans is not conducive to optimal oral health.

Bottom line: If you don’t want to have to tell your teeth IMY*, skip the Jelly Bellys in favor of a less sugary snack. *I Miss You

Lifesavers Wild Berry Gummies Xs and Os

Lifesavers Wild Berry Gummies Xs and Os bring a playful twist to the classic gummy candy experience. While this iconic American brand has been selling us hugs since 1912, for Valentine’s Day, they added kisses! Lifesavers Wild Berry Gummies Xs and Os add a fun and flavorful touch to the holiday, and will no doubt be the center of many a tic-tac-toe game where the winner takes all!

Bottom line: Even traditional American brand gummies promote tooth decay, so if you imbibe, be sure to brush your teeth. With hot water.

Necco/ Spangler Sweethearts

NECCO, the original conversation hearts, have become synonymous with expressions of classroom affection. The quintessential symbol of Valentine’s Day, NECCO Sweethearts have been a nostalgic mainstay for generations, cutie pie!  Manufactured by the New England Confectionery Company (NECCO), these iconic pastel-colored candies are adorned with sweet messages. Despite their popularity and sentimental value, these little hearts have a chalky texture and vague flavors that have a polarizing effect. There is no middle ground. If the texture and flavor aren’t enough of a deterrent, a glance at the ingredient list/nutritional information should be enough to make most anyone steer clear of this product.

Bottom line: NECCO Sweethearts are the candy corn of Valentine’s Day. Love’em or hate’em, these classic conversation hearts are not going away, sweet pea

Nerds Gummy Clusters

Nerds Valentine Gummy Clusters combine the crunch of Nerds with a soft, chewy gummy center. Accurately described as sugar-coated sugar, these Valentine’s Day treats contain no healthful ingredients. What they do contain are allergens and bioengineered ingredients, according to the warning label on the box. Yes, you read that correctly, Nerds Valentine Gummy Clusters have a warning label on the box. Though choking, small objects may get lodged in the throat, is mentioned as a possible danger, tooth decay is conspicuously missing. I’m not a doctor, but I daresay that there are more kids who get cavities from eating Nerds than those who choke on them.

Bottom line: Treat your Valentine to a box of candy sans warning labels.

Reece’s Peanut Butter Hearts

Gone are the days when Valentine’s Day confections were limited to heart-shaped candies that only emerged for a limited time around the holiday. While traditional heart-shaped candies still abound, the modern era has ushered in an assortment of unconventional choices, like Reese’s heart-shaped peanut butter cups. The question of what a peanut butter cup has to do with Valentine’s Day may baffle traditionalists, but the heart shape has transcended its exclusive association with classic Valentine’s candies. Reese’s Peanut Butter Hearts are exactly what you imagine: a heart-shaped Reese’s cup. Unlike many of the treats on our list, Reese’s Peanut Butter Hearts contain protein! However, they also contain environmentally unfriendly palm kernel oil. Sigh.

Bottom line: Be a conscientious Valentine. Choose a treat that doesn’t leave a Tiger without a home.

Rolo Valentine’s Day Chocolate Caramels

Rolo Valentine’s Day Chocolate Caramel candy merges the rich taste of creamy caramel with the smooth allure of milk chocolate, creating a delectable treat that captures the essence of love. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, Rolo trades its iconic gold foil wrappers for pink and red foil wrappers. That’s it. It’s the same old Rolo but dressed for romance. Like others before it, Rolo contains the environmental offender, palm kernel oil. The harvesting of palm kernel oil is behind deforestation in Southeast Asia, Africa, and  South America, and deforestation results in habitat loss.

Bottom line: Be a sweetie, buy your Valentine a treat that doesn’t contribute to global annihilation.

Russell Stover

Nothing says I love you like a heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolates. The iconic heart-shaped box contains a luxurious assortment of top-shelf chocolates. Russell Stover is the chocolate embodiment of romance. From rich truffles to creamy caramels, Russell Stover contains a variety of sweet treats for your sweetie. So, why are they on our list of no-nos? While Russell Stover gets an A+ for originality, they contain the villainous palm kernel oil, the driver of deforestation and habitat loss. Russell Stover also has a higher price point than similar Valentine’s treats- 400% more in most cases. But what are you really paying for? Packaging and name recognition. So why there is a heaping helping of nostalgia associated with this iconic heart-shaped box of chocolates, it’s not a bargain by any stretch.

Bottom line: Skip the Stovers- less expensive, guilt-free options abound.

Smarties

Having undoubtedly eaten my weight in them, I know a thing or two about Smarties. I only buy the Canada-made ones. Now, I don’t know why, but the Smarties made in Canada have a better flavor and texture than the ones produced in Union City, New Jersey. At least to my refined palette. So, while I think of Smarties as Halloween candy, I couldn’t be happier to see that they’re slapping Valentine’s in big, bold cursive on the cellophane-covered rolls. Cursive? Who’s in charge of marketing at Ce De Candy Co.? Whoever they are, they must have missed the news that cursive is all but dead and that the majority of the recipients won’t be able to decipher the cryptic message on the wrapper. Even though Smarties are the best candy ever, they have no nutritional value and all the tooth-rotting value.

Bottom line: To save your choppers, send your Valentine’s Smarties to the author in the care of 24/7 Wall St.

 

Sour Patch Kids Message Hearts

Of the 20 Valentine’s Candies to Avoid, if I were a chronological kid, this would probably be my favorite. Sour Patch Kids that can hold Sweetart-like conversation hearts? What? And the ability to manipulate them? Heck yeah. Mine would have been so grody by the time I was finished manipulating them that I would have tossed the kids and eaten the “sweetarts” hesitantly. I would like to meet the evil genius who dreamed up Sour Patch Kids Message Hearts to thank them for adding a twist to what is rapidly becoming overblown, i.e. conversation hearts. Enough already. Sour Patch Kids Message Hearts are nothing more than sugar, bioengineered sugar, according to the warning on the box. Now, I’m not opposed to all of what we formerly called genetically modified ingredients, but it is curious and somewhat alarming that bioengineered ingredients are listed as a warning rather than a friendly reminder.

Bottom line: Play with them you should. Eat them you should not.

Swedish Fish Hearts

The most appalling-sounding treat on 24/7’s list of Valentine’s candies to avoid has to be the unfortunately named Swedish Fish Hearts. I’m not sure they thought this one all the way through… Swedish Fish Hearts maintain the signature fruity flavor and chewy gummy texture that fans adore, it’s just heart-shaped! Say, now that’s a twist! Beyond the lack of imagination and the unfortunate name, Swedish Fish Hearts don’t contain any environmentally distasteful ingredients, but they don’t contain any healthful ingredients, either.

Bottom line: Even if your Valentine is a fan, you might still think twice before giving them fish hearts as a token of your affection.

Sweetart Conversation Hearts

 

I don’t even want to think about how much I’ve spent on dental care because of my former dietary choices. If I’ve eaten my weight in Smarties, I’m not far behind when it comes to Sweetarts. Don’t judge me. Remember, I’m allergic to chocolate. Even before I knew I was allergic, I was drawn to fruity sweets. And since Smarties are more of a seasonal treat, Sweetarts were my off-season go-to. Sweetarts goes all in for Valentine’s Day, turning their classic disc shape into a heart -and- adding words: CUTIE, XOXO, HUG ME They’ve also added a warning label. Allergens, choking hazards, and bioengineered ingredients are mentioned. Tooth decay is not. It should be, though.

Bottom line: Wanna save on dental bills? Skip the Sweetart Hearts.

Twizzlers Cherry Hearts

If your brand isn’t a traditional Valentine’s Day treat, it appears you can take one of two routes: conversate it or heart-shape it. Twizzlers did the latter. Twizzlers Cherry Hearts have the familiar texture and flavor of the typically ropy Twizzlers. Though they are undeniably tasty, they contain the deforestation culprit palm oil! It’s an inconvenient truth, to be sure, but as conscientious consumers, we must be mindful of our purchasing power. What we allow is what will continue.

Bottom line: Love your mother (Earth) and stop buying products that contain palm oils.

York Valentine’s Day Dark Chocolate Peppermint Hearts

 

While York Peppermint Patties aren’t your traditional Valentine’s Day treat, they transition seamlessly in the heart-shaped category. On the heels of National Peppermint Patty Day (February 11), heart-shaped York’s are prepped and ready for the Valentine’s crowd.

Bottom line: Heart-shaped or round, York’s peppermint Patties give you the sensation of a full body chill.

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