I’m in my 30s and sitting on $5 million – why am I still scared to spend more than $100?

There was a time in my life when I had a very difficult time spending money on anything other than essentials. I was a new mom who had reduced her working hours — and income — substantially due to not being able afford daycare. So I was juggling everything and earnings a lot less, and I was stressed about it.

Back then, I made a big deal out of unplanned expenses. And I certainly wasn’t willing to spend money on anything we didn’t need. That meant we didn’t dine out, buy clothing, or take vacations for a stretch of time until I was able to work more.

But in this Reddit post, we have someone in their mid-30s with a $5 million net worth who seems to have a real problem with spending money. And I actually think they could use some intervention.

When you can’t part with your money

It’s one thing to be stressed about spending money when you don’t have a lot of it to go around. But the poster here clearly is not in that boat. They’re in their mid-30s with $5 million. Even if they don’t save another dime for retirement, all they have to do is keep their assets invested, and in another decade or so, they could truly be set for life.

It actually pains me to read that this poster gets worried about spending $100 here and there. I can appreciate being naturally frugal and not being wasteful. But if the poster sees something they want for $100, they should be able to buy it without stress or guilt. Period. And they shouldn’t feel compelled to do things like stay in the cheapest hotel or fly in the worst seat on the plane to save money – not when they’ve done so well financially.

For this reason, I think the poster should talk to a therapist. It may be that they grew up in a household where money was tight and there are lingering effects they need to work through.

But it makes zero sense to have money that you don’t get to benefit from. So if the poster needs strategies to feel better about spending their money, they should seek that support.

On my end, my husband and I spend a lot more freely now that I’m working full-time again. This isn’t to say that we aren’t careful. But I’m a lot more flexible with what we can spend on. I won’t stress if we’re having a busy week and need to spend extra on takeout, whereas years ago, I would’ve. But our financial situation has also changed.

A financial advisor can also help

In addition to talking to a therapist, I think the poster here can benefit from consulting with a financial advisor. A financial advisor can help them put together a budget that has room for discretionary spending. That way, the poster won’t have to get worked up every time there’s something they opt to splurge on.

A financial advisor can also review the poster’s portfolio and make sure it’s as poised for growth as possible. And seeing some projections might help the poster realize that they’re more than free to spend money here and there without being concerned.