While it might surprise some people, a real-world belief applies even to those who have money: spending money can cause a lot of unnecessary stress. Whether it’s because someone wants to see numbers in a bank account or because they are concerned about what happens if a job loss or emergency occurs, fear of overspending is not a problem to be taken lightly.
The good news is that people like this individual, posting in r/fatFIRE on Reddit, recognize they need to shift away from this always-saving mindset. With a net worth of over $5 million, they are clearly able to spend on finer things, but they still find themselves being frugal to the point of frustration.
In the Redditor’s defense, they are hardly alone in this belief, and it’s not something to be embarrassed about. However, they can try to change their views on it.
Changing Current Thinking
The original poster is a mid-30s individual with a net worth of around $5 million and plans to work for the foreseeable future. As a result, we can confidently say that their net worth will only continue to grow, though by how much is unknown.
Even with the knowledge that they have plenty of money and more money to come, the original poster drafted this post hoping to find books or resources that might help them change their thinking. They are “extremely frugal” in their own words and know this mindset is getting in the way of enjoying life experiences.
As an individual concerned about any order over $100, it’s fair to say that their mindset is absolutely getting in the way of having fun and creating new memories. Going for the cheapest hotels isn’t always a bad idea, but it is when you just can’t stomach the idea of spending a little more to get a lot more.
They know therapy is an option, but having listened to Ramit Sethi in the past, they are hoping to find similar resources in the form of books that can help them break down this mental barrier to spending.
Reddit Recommends
Unsurprisingly, Reddit is full of recommendations. The comment section here comes out with book recommendations like “Die With Zero” or “Psychology of Money,” but also those who found the courage to navigate this fear. As there are multiple recommendations for the “Die with Zero” book, this might be a great place for the original poster to start.
Ideally, a number of commenters suggest that this Redditor can start with books and the like, but they should also figure out a number they could spend either weekly or monthly that wouldn’t affect their current financial goals. The goal is to spend all of this money in that period so that nothing is left over. The hope is that doing this a few times will help get over this mental hurdle that they can’t spend without altering their life in a significant and negative way.
Additionally, there is also the consideration that this Redditor isn’t alone, as another commenter indicates they won’t do a meal out of the house if they think it will cost them more than $100. Given that they are commenting in r/fatFIRE, it’s likely that $100 wouldn’t mean much to this individual in the long run, but the mindset is hindering their ability to go out and have fun just as it is for the original poster.
What’s Next
Interestingly enough, there is a bit of pushback to therapy, thinking that maybe they should instead try out some books first. The Redditor does admit that some of their hesitancy about money stems from their father gambling away income regularly, but still, a financial advisor might help you see things on paper that give this individual the confidence to spend more.
Yes, this Redditor should start with books, but they also might need to force themselves to go out and try a shopping spree just to see if they can overcome the feeling of overspending. They don’t have to go crazy, but they should spend $1,000 or $2,000 on something nice for themselves and see how it feels. This will take some convincing, but sometimes the best way to break a habit is to quite literally force yourself to do so.
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