I’m 46 with $21 million and a baby on the way — should I retire from my high-stress job to focus on family?

Anytime someone reaches a significant net worth, it eventually forces them to ask how much longer they want to maintain the same lifestyle pace. Unfortunately, for many of these individuals, even after hitting their financial target, walking away from work is an almost impossible idea. 

In the case of this Redditor posting on r/fatFIRE, you have this exact scenario. Having achieved an eight-figure net worth through a stressful job, he is ready to leave work for good. The challenge is that he’s struggling to follow through and wonders if a few more years in the workforce won’t hurt. 

While I’d like to be in this Redditor’s position with $21 million, I also understand the nervousness of leaving work. This is the life he has known for years, and with a newborn on the way, so many changes at once could be upsetting. 

The Scenario

This Redditor is a 46-year-old married man with a wife who is currently not working. They live in a very high-cost area, which the Redditor indicates is “one of the highest in the world.” The last important piece of crucial personal information is that the couple’s first child is coming. 

Regarding professional details, we know this individual works a “very high-stress job” that pays very well, but he’s essentially his boss and loathes this idea. Most of his income, approximately 60%, comes from one client, who is a pain in the you know what. The concern is that he could try to reduce his workload, but in the Redditor’s words, his skills don’t translate well to a new line of work. 

When it comes to finances, his annual income is between $2 and $2.5 million, with a current net worth close to $21 million. Out of this money, the family has $10 million in cash or cash equivalents, around $2 million in semi-liquid investments, $2 million in illiquid investments, and around $8.5 million in real estate. We also know the family rents their current residence for $130,000 per year but has another home worth $1 million that they only use a few times yearly. 

The Recommendation 

With an annual spend of $600 – $700k, this individual needs to cut down on their monthly spending. This is a crazy amount of money to spend, even at a very high cost of living. This number must be reduced without children accounted for, as introducing a child will only drive this number up. 

While I am not a financial advisor and recommend this Redditor find one, I like the idea of a total life reset. This family has enough money for him to walk away from their job, move to a medium-cost-of-living area, and live like royalty. I completely understand the concern that moving to the suburbs would be a total life reset, but with a child, this should be a welcomed reset. 

Yes, I completely understand the concern over not working or that his skills don’t translate, but he will feel more guilt about being an absent father than not. We know that he doesn’t like his job, has enough money to walk away from it, and doesn’t want to repeat the mistakes of his own father, which caused resentment that still carries on to this day. 

I wholeheartedly recommend stepping away from work and taking the opportunity to reset your life. The benefits are far less stress, a better relationship with your child, and potentially even your spouse. I’m having a hard time seeing the downsides. 

The Takeaway

The reality is that this would be a very different conversation if the family’s net worth were $1 or $2 million, but it isn’t. The bottom line is that spending $150,000 yearly on travel and $100,000 dining out is crazy. It’s time to start taking a more practical look at life, especially with a child on the way. 

No one, especially myself, would ever say not to enjoy some of the finer things in life or eat out frequently. However, parents need to find a more practical balance, as having a child will completely upset the lifestyle they are used to living anyway. 

You can’t take a child out to eat every night, and paying a babysitter is ridiculous. It turns him into the absentee parent he’s already dreading becoming. The bottom line is that this Redditor has made it and needs to come around to this reality.