The Identity Trap That Keeps People Working Years After They Can Afford to Quit

It was a peak career moment. Googler Adam Coelho stood in front of Google CEO Sundar Pichai and other execs, leading a two-hour mindfulness workshop. A week later, a new boss said he wasn’t doing enough thought leadership. Months later came an ambush meeting. Coelho was given three days to choose between a small severance or a performance improvement plan.

Sharing this story on the ChooseFI podcast, Coelho said he realized he was financially able to leave his job after 14 years. Still he struggled to walk away.

“You had different choices available to you that wouldn’t be available to the normal person out there, or even the normal Googler who, like most people, spend most or all of their money, even if they’re making $200,000, $400,000,” said ChooseFI host Brad Barrett. So why would someone like Coelho stick around in a bad work situation even though they’ve achieved financial independence?

The FI Number You Need to Know

The FI (Financial Independence) Number, developed by Barrett, is the invested assets needed so investment returns cover annual living expenses indefinitely, freeing you from needing a paycheck. The rule of thumb is roughly 25 times your annual expenses, derived from the 4% safe withdrawal guideline. It’s the central goal of the FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) movement.

Hitting your FI number is “necessary, but not sufficient for a great financially independent life,” Barrett said. The real challenge isn’t accumulating wealth but figuring out who you are without work. Coelho, who eventually left Google after spending his entire career there, explains that people often use the “one-more-year syndrome” as an excuse. They claim they need more money when “if they really are honest with themselves, it’s probably that they just are afraid of who they are without work.” Our professional identity becomes deeply intertwined with our self-worth. Being a Googler wasn’t just a job for Coelho, it was a core part of his identity that signaled success both internally and externally.

The reality is that job security doesn’t exist in today’s economy. You can be excellent at your job and still be abruptly laid off. Building financial independence creates options when facing these career crossroads and also allows you the freedom to quit toxic work situations.

Take This Job and Shove It

“FU money” (having enough savings to be able to walk away from a job) certainly helps. But it doesn’t solve everything. “FU money gives you options and security,” Coelho said. “But vision gives you direction and momentum.” He suggested listeners start experimenting with life without work before you reach your FI number. Don’t wait until retirement to discover what gives you meaning beyond your career.

What to Actually Do Before You Quit

1. Try an envisioning exercise. Coelho’s prompt: “If everything in your life starting today meets or exceeds your most optimistic expectations, everything goes wildly better than you can even imagine, what does your life look like 5 years from now?” Set the “how” aside. Cover location, people, daily activities, and the emotional state you want.
2. Try mindfulness. Identify the stories you’re telling yourself about your FI journey. When you catch yourself in negative self-talk (“you’re not good enough” or “you’re never gonna get it”), ask one simple question: “Is this useful?” If not, let it go.
3. Tell others your goals. Talk about your vision to other people, which “plants seeds in your mind by doing that, but it plants seeds in the other person’s mind as well,” Coelho said.