We’re in our mid-40s, earn $1.2 million a year, and are thinking about having kids—is it too late?

It goes without saying that the older you are, the more difficult it becomes to have children and raise them. Even the physical act of chasing after a young baby or toddler becomes more challenging as you age, so your age is very much something to consider. 

This is the exact scenario one Redditor is considering in his post in the r/fatFIRE subreddit. He and his spouse want to continue their careers until they reach their mid-40s, when they hope to reach fatFIRE. They believe waiting to have children is the best idea. 

What I think is most interesting about this post is that the commenters came out strong, posting all of the flaws in the Redditor’s thinking. Reddit rarely agrees on anything, so it was unique to see this happen, and hopefully, it moved the original poster’s thinking. 

The Scenario 

The Redditor, 32, and his wife, 29, are currently on a fatFIRE trajectory and do want children, just not yet. According to the post, they are waiting for a few reasons, with the first and foremost issue being infertility, which means adoption is the likely way they will become a larger family. 

However, as the couple makes $1.2 million per year combined, the Redditor indicates they are both at the top of their career paths and don’t want to slow down. If they were to give up their careers, they aren’t sure they could make the same similar salaries they are currently enjoying. 

While they have $2.5 million already invested in index funds and are spending around $200,000 in a medium-cost-of-living area, they are looking to exit the workforce with a $14 million net worth. 

Understanding the implications for their careers, they believe that waiting until their mid-40s and hitting their target FIRE number would “ease the stress of managing kids and a career.” This would enable them to spend more time with their children and as a family. 

Don’t Wait Too Long

There is no question that I recognize the Redditor’s position of believing they are making great money, eating well, being healthy, and enjoying living a good life without children. However, even the Redditor points out one of the largest flaws in his thinking by acknowledging they will be in their 60s when their children finish college. 

You can earn all the money in the world, but you can’t get back your youth, and you certainly can’t get back the time you have to make memories with children. I speak from experience when I say that children are stressful and frustrating when they don’t listen, but even that isn’t worth exchanging for a few more rich years in the workforce. 

The bottom line is that any recommendation made here should focus on no guarantees in life. The answer to this Redditor’s question is as simple as that. One or both of them could lose their jobs between now and their mid-40s, and if this happens, what would this do to having children then? 

All of this said, having children in your 30s is the norm these days, so waiting a few more years is something to consider. However, waiting at least 10 more years will put you at a point when you see your children graduate college in your late 60s, and this isn’t where you want to be.

This is a scenario in which this Redditor should work with a qualified financial advisor who can help ensure they are on track to achieve everything they want, including children and FIRE. 

Make Sure To Prioritize

One consideration here that doesn’t seem to be getting much thought is that while the Redditor doesn’t want to see his kids graduate in his late 60s, he isn’t considering that his children will also enjoy more time with their parents. This family’s current trajectory means that any kids would likely go a large part of their lives without parents, which is also something to consider. 

On paper, having children 10 or 15 years from now might not sound like a significant deal, but that’s thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of memories you can create in that timespan. 

Having plenty of money before having children is a lofty goal, as children are wildly expensive to raise. However, placing money before family is something this Redditor will learn to regret later in life. This sentiment is echoed by other commenters who considered the same scenario, thought better of it, and don’t regret doing so.