Retiring early is often a dream for many people, and those who plan to leave work early may have many ideas about what to do with their time. For one Reddit user, however, his method of filling his days is causing marital friction. Specifically, despite the fact that he as a lot of money, his wife called him a loser because of the hobbies he’s chosen to pursue.
Here are some more details on what the man was doing, as well as some advice about how to handle early retirement if you aren’t on the same page as your spouse.
Are you a loser if you get rich and play video games all day?
The Reddit user who was called a loser by his wife provided some pretty candid details of his financial situation. He said he is 41 years old with $2 million in liquid assets. He receives $75,000 per year in royalties from a business that he sold and has $650,000 in his retirement account. In total, this means his annual income is around $125K from his liquid assets.
With so much money saved plus a steady income coming in, he decided to retire. His wife, however, is still working. She’s a school teacher, which he says is great for the healthcare benefits. However, she’s unhappy with how her husband is spending his days now. The original poster (OP) explained that it’s cold and dark where he lives in the winter, so when she’s at work, he typically spends the day playing Grand Theft Auto and taking THC edibles.
When his wife came home early and found him talking with his grand theft auto online friends while he was high, she told him he was becoming a “loser” due to his hobbies and said she thought that he was too old to do what he was doing.
He’s offended because he pays for the house, earns double her income, and just wants to relax and enjoy his life after 15 years of working at a stressful job. He said they don’t have kids, he doesn’t have anything else he wants to do, and he and his wife take nice trips together when she’s off so she has no right to be upset about his activities.
So, who is right?
Marriage is about compromise and finding a happy medium when it comes to money and life
The reality in this situation is that no one is necessarily right or wrong — the couple just has a disconnect.
Realistically, it’s not ideal for the OP to decide he wants to spend the rest of his life getting high and playing video games. Neither one of those activities contributes much to society, neither is very healthy, and both are considered to be characteristics of a “loser” lifestyle, whether that’s a fair characterization or not. His wife is right to be concerned if this is becoming his entire personality and will be for the foreseeable future.
On the other hand, the OP did stressful work for 15 years, which made him rich. He does help out around the house, he does travel, and he has not indicated that he just wants to play video games all day forever and ever. He may just need to decompress and take some time to chill out before he finds more “productive” hobbies in retirement.
He honestly has a right to do that. Plus, plenty of people spend their retirement doing something that doesn’t necessarily make a major contribution to society — like playing golf. Yet, this doesn’t have the stigma that playing video games and getting high does, so it probably wouldn’t be seen as such a big problem. It may not be fair to the OP to be “penalized” by his wife just because of the negative stereotypes associated with the things he likes to do.
How can the couple work out this issue?
Ultimately, open communication is going to be the best way for the couple to get past the problem.
If the OP truly is just playing video games to fill the time in winter and he plans to do other things with his life soon, he should tell her that. Likewise, if he feels burned out from the stress of his past jobs and just needs some space to relax and decompress, he should share that with her too. His wife may be more understanding if she knows this isn’t forever or understands his reasoning.
He can also ask his wife what she envisions their shared retirement is going to look like and what she thinks he should be doing instead. If she has suggestions that he can incorporate while still being true to his own desires, this could help to ensure the couple can find a way to enjoy their success together and make a life that works for both of them.
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