My siblings and I feel guilty asking our retired father for cash – is there a better system for distributing his wealth?

A 40-year-old Reddit user who regularly accepts money from his rich father is interested in finding a way to arrange his financial situation so he can get more money from his dad without having to ask for it. 

Unfortunately, it’s not the Redditor’s money, so while he can make suggestions to his dad — if he’s comfortable doing so —  he is ultimately not the person who should decide when and how the funds should become accessible to him. 

A Redditor is benefitting from his dad’s wealth, but he wants easier access

The Reddit user explained that his father is retired and worth around $100 million. He said his dad has expressed a desire for the poster and his siblings to work for pleasure, not money, and that his dad does not want the kids to have to wait for his death to enjoy their inheritance.

The Redditor started a few companies and sold them, but his siblings have chosen not to work at all in light of the fact they know that this money is available. However, he and his siblings have seen their costs increase in the last few years as their lifestyles have become more expensive.

Currently, if they need money from their dad, they have to ask him for it — which the poster says comes with a lot of emotional baggage including guilt on the part of the children. He wants to know if there are different structures that could be put in place to make it easier for him and his siblings to automatically access the funds without having to request the money. 

You shouldn’t count on living on an inheritance that is not yours yet

There are plenty of options for parents who want to gift their kids money during their lifetime instead of making the kids wait to receive an inheritance until after death. Parents could make direct financial gifts, for example, or they could set up a trust for each child that provides regular income or that the kids can access when certain conditions are met. 

However, the Redditor’s dad has not set up on any of these systems — and it is his money and his choice. While the poster could suggest that his dad make a larger gift or set up a trust fund, doing so might not be well-received and it may not even be appropriate given the fact that his father almost certainly knows about these possibilities and has not chosen to take advantage of them. 

The reality is that the poster’s dad may have said he wants the kids to work for pleasure and enjoy life, but the Redditor and his siblings should not be basing their lifestyle choices on money that is not theirs yet. They should work with a financial advisor to create a budget that allows them to live within their means based on their own earnings, they should find gainful employment, and they should accept the money coming from their dad is a gift and not an entitlement. 

If and when their father decides to give them money directly, they should try to use this money wisely to preserve it for themselves and future generations — ideally by investing it and making withdrawals at a safe withdrawal rate. 

Far too many kids squander their inheritance because they don’t make these wise moves, and with so much money at stake, the Redditor and his siblings have a responsibility to be wise stewards of the family resources they will be lucky enough to inherit.  Until the time their dad gives it to them, though, they should stop assuming a right to it and should live their lives while standing on their own two feet.