My father left me a fortune before he died – is it wrong to refuse to set up college funds for my step-siblings?

A Reddit user is dealing with a tough situation when it comes to his inheritance. He explained that his father passed away and left him an inheritance, but his mother is pressing him to share some of the funds with her husband’s children. The original poster (OP) does not want to give this money away to his stepsiblings, but his mom and stepdad are calling him selfish and claiming he should help their family out.

So, is he in the wrong for not wanting to give a portion of his money to this cause?

Inheritance issues can be tricky — but you don’t owe anyone your funds

The Reddit poster said his mom and stepdad have always lived paycheck to paycheck as they’ve faced medical challenges and mental health issues with his stepsiblings. Since he inherited a life-changing amount of money, which his mother found out about by reading a letter from his dad, his mother is trying to pressure him into “helping” the family by setting up college funds or otherwise providing funding so his stepsiblings can have a better start to life. 

The Redditor is not yet 19 and can’t access the money until he hits that milestone, but his mother wants him to take action quickly when he does and move to ensure that his three stepsiblings are provided for. However, his dad set up a trust for him, and he doesn’t feel he should have to share — and he’s exactly right.

His mother is behaving unethically here in trying to pressure her underage child to provide money from an inheritance for a purpose it clearly was not intended for. The other Reddit users all chimed in that this was not something he had to do and, in fact, some suggested he try to go and live elsewhere with his father’s relatives, while others advised making sure he obtained his birth certificate, Social Security and other important documents from his mother so she can’t try to hold these things hostage. 

Unfortunately, sometimes people — even your own parents — can behave unethically when there is a lot of money at stake. The poster here needs to stand his ground and, in fact, he should talk with the trustee of the trust who is managing the funds for him to find out details about how the trust is structured because he may be limited in how much of the principal he can access anyway, or limited in when and how the money is disbursed.

An inheritance can change your life if you make the right choices

Beyond saying no to his mother, the Redditor should also take some other steps to protect his inheritance. Specifically, he should strongly consider talking with a financial advisor. The advisor should be able to help him ensure the inherited funds are invested and used wisely in a way that will help set him up for life.

Far too many people who get an inheritance end up wasting it and find themselves back in the same position as they started. Since the Redditor here wasn’t expecting this money, and, clearly, his mother will not be a support system for him as he figures out how to navigate receiving it, getting professional dvice could ensure that he makes the most of the money so it improves his future in meaningful ways — just as his father intended.