My Dad Passed and Left Us $4 million Each, My Step Sister Wants Some of Mine

Some parents plan very well so they can leave a generous inheritance to their children. But that doesn’t obligate them to leave money behind to all of their children.

A recent Dave Ramsey caller wanted advice after receiving a roughly $4 million inheritance from his father. Both he and his brother were left sums of that size, but his step-sister was not left anything.

The sister has been trying to guilt him into sharing his inheritance with her, and he wanted Ramsey’s thoughts on what to do.

Ramsey had some good advice. He reassured the caller that the situation is not his fault and that he has no obligation to share his money. Ramsey suggested that he offer emotional support to his step-sister but said he shouldn’t feel like he has to go beyond that.

I have some thoughts on the matter, too. And they apply not just to this caller, but anyone in a similar boat.

Don’t be guilted into giving up your money

The caller here may feel obligated to share his inheritance due to feelings of guilt. But the reality is that this person seems like someone who’s always been smart with his money.

He was taught to be debt-free at a young age, and he built up his retirement savings to $750,000 before his inheritance came along. So clearly, he was on a good financial path already.

At this point, it’s obvious that he has more than enough money to spare. So if he would like to give his step-sister a modest one-time financial gift, that’s not only an acceptable thing to do, but a nice thing.

But I think that if the caller here shares some of his money, he should make it clear that he’s doing it out of kindness, and not due to a financial obligation – because the reality is that he doesn’t have any financial obligation. And if you’re in a similar boat, neither do you.

This applies to any situation where a family member is asking for money. You can want to help out, and if you’re able to afford it, do it. But you shouldn’t let anyone – even a family member – pressure you into parting with money that’s rightfully yours.

You never know when you might need to fall back on the savings you have. And you shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re in a better place financially than other members of your family, whether you got there through hard work, shrewd investments, or an inheritance somebody else left you.

It pays to get outside help

One other thing I’d tell this caller, and anyone else who finds themselves sitting on a large inheritance, is to consult a financial advisor for tips on managing that money. The caller here has a history of managing their money well, but that doesn’t mean they can’t benefit from an outside professional’s help.

Also, if the caller is interested in gifting some of their inheritance to his step-sister, or to anyone else in his life, it’s a good idea to get advice on how to do so in the most cost-effective and tax-efficient manner.