Reddit is full of wisdom and even financial questions we all need answers to. While we never advise you to take financial advice from strangers and always encourage meeting with a professional financial advisor to make any big decisions, we do value the opinion of our fellow Redditors. This writer came across an interesting post the other day regarding the responsibilities of adult children to fund their parents’ retirement, and the responses were fascinating. I’ll set the stage and provide some opinions, but let you decide for yourself what the right answer is.
College Education Fund Versus Early Retirement
In the original post, the writer speaks of his parents creating a college fund for him and his siblings. Both siblings used the fund to pay for college, but he received a full scholarship to the university. He also left home and worked as a welder to support himself, never asking for money from his parents. When he requested the money to help him get through school (although his tuition was paid for by scholarship), his parents responded that the money was intended for his education. He mentioned that he’d worked hard to get his scholarship, but they decided to put the money into a Disney vacation for the entire family and renovations for their home.
The writer doesn’t come right out and say he resents the decisions, but the moment comes full circle just over a decade later when he’s a successful engineer. Because his career doesn’t lend itself to relationships (he travels regularly), he doesn’t have a partner or kids. His siblings do. One sibling is a teacher, and one is a social worker, and both parents are teachers. Recently, his parents asked if he would help them out financially so they could retire early. He posed the questions to other Redditors if it’s his responsibility to support them and give up his own nest egg.
It’s important to note that when he asked his parents for his college fund, they mentioned that they weren’t “legally obligated” to give it to him. He used the same wordage when they asked him for retirement money, so they accused him of holding a grudge.
What Goes Around, Comes Around
Although the responses do not provide demographic information, most seem to come from adults in similar life situations. Here are some of the most common responses.
Many seem a bit vindictive and believe the situation has come full circle. They feel it’s karma doing her thing. Their exact words were “Rules for thee and not for me.”
Others mention that the money isn’t for a need. The parents just want to retire early. The original poster mentions that they aren’t doing hard labor or back-breaking work but rather teaching in classrooms. A common consensus is that the parents should’ve invested the money they saved for the OP’s college rather than taking a vacation, and their retirement would’ve been funded with their investment.
Some posters are bothered by the idea that it’s okay to ask the youngest child without a family for money but not the other children. They’re bothered because their lives don’t seem to be as valuable to their parents.
Perhaps one of the most compelling comments comes from a parent who states they didn’t have children as a retirement fund. If children are expected to fund their parent’s retirement, they are born with a weight around their neck that they didn’t ask for. When love or gifts are given in a quid pro quo fashion, the relationship becomes transactional, which can seriously harm it.
Is It Legally Required?
The post was full of snarky responses, but the OP did not desire to “stick it” to his parents. He only wanted to remind them that he was not legally obligated to support them any more than they were legally obligated to give him his college fund. In the United States, there are social safety nets and state programs to help retirees, but no laws that require children to fund a retirement.
Most commenters supported the OP and downvoted comments that supported the parents, but ultimately, it’s a decision that each individual must make.
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