While the love of family goes both ways, as parents will do anything to ensure their children are not hurt, the reverse is equally true. There is no question that any child watching their parent struggle will feel compelled to do everything they can to help out someone who has done everything for them.
In the case of one Redditor, there is an awful feeling watching as their father got scammed out of his entire 401(k) and savings and is now drowning in debt. While this wound might be self-inflicted, there is no question that the child is hurting, watching a person they love struggle more and more.
It’s hard to be in a position where you want to help but aren’t sure if you should, financially, mentally, or a combination of both, as there are no easy answers sometimes.
The Heartbreak
Unfortunately, the Redditor mentions in a post in r/personalfinance that the father got scammed out of his 401(k) and savings account, leaving himself with around $30,000 in debt that is looking to be consolidated. The good news is that the dad’s wife makes around $90,000 annually and has a substantial $500,000 bank account.
Sadly, things went from bad to worse when the father tried to get back on his feet last week, only to realize that a new job opportunity was also a scam. This is a sad story as the couple pays $3,500 for a three-bedroom apartment, which is only likely to last around six years based on their current spending and savings.
The original poster seeks advice and help to steer the father’s ship in the right direction and feels lost trying to do so. It doesn’t help that in the comments, the Redditor highlights that the father is resisting any ideas of downsizing to something more affordable, indicating that they “need” three bedrooms.
Worse, his new job required him to spend additional money on a credit card, which his father doesn’t have the money to pay off. Again, this situation keeps going from bad to worse.
The Scam
We’re a bit light on details, but the father got into a situation on Instagram where he fell into a trap by sending a crypto influencer all of his money to invest. Of course, the investment opportunity wasn’t legit, and poof, the money is gone.
This past week, he’s fallen into two more traps, with one job convincing him to buy $14,000 worth of Apple products and send them to Texas. He believes this company will reimburse him, but Chase Bank locked his credit card, and now he can’t even buy the essentials.
Unfortunately, we have a father here who doesn’t know where to stop and is looking for the next great opportunity using hopes and dreams instead of their brain.
Can He Rebuild?
In this situation, when the father asks his children and his own brother for loans and money that he promises to pay back, it’s questionable whether anyone will ever see money again. The bottom line is that to rebuild, the father needs a serious reality check and a wake-up call of just how bad their situation is.
It’s pretty clear the father is at rock bottom, but somehow manages to keep sinking even worse. The only hope for rebuilding is to get out of this cycle of scams and find a real job with real benefits and at least some job security. If this means swallowing pride and going to work at a gas station, grocery store, or somewhere else that can get him going on the right path, then so be it.
The family needs to have an intervention and put everything on the table so there are no secrets between any family members. It seems like the only way to get back on track is to break everything down as much as possible and see if the father can be reasoned with. Lastly, if he keeps asking for money and someone wants to help, only do so by paying the bills directly.
However, if the father refuses to see the error of his ways, he will likely lose his money and his family, including his wife.
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