It should go without saying that navigating an inheritance among family can be one of the most stressful things in the world. No matter how much money is on the table, the mere idea that there is money to be split among family can bring out the very worst in people.
Unsurprisingly, this Redditor is learning this firsthand as they are navigating how to deal with a selfish sibling. Sadly, the Redditor, according to their post in r/inheritance, recently had their father pass away, leaving a house to be split among four children.
Handling a Selfish Executor
The Redditor provides a whole lot of detail, but the summary here is that after their father recently passed away, they and three other siblings were left a home and a beneficiary IRA. The IRA was automatically divided upon the father’s death, so everyone got what they were owed almost immediately.
So far, so good, but things took a turn for the worse when the brother was appointed executor of the estate. The four siblings are looking to split the father’s home between them, as the will requested, and with the house appraised at approximately $400,000, each sibling is hoping to receive around $100,000 gross.
The situation worsens when the brother, henceforth known as “Bob” by the Redditor’s post, complains that his siblings should give up their share of the home because he already lives there, despite being terrible with money. The thing is, Bob promised to pay out each sibling from his IRA inheritance, thereby giving himself complete control of the home.
It doesn’t take much imagination to see how this has gone, and now, nine months after the father passed away, Bob has yet to provide dates as to when he plans to buy out the rest of his siblings’ share of the home. Understandably, the rest of the family is getting frustrated and wants to just put this issue to rest.
Bob Isn’t Handling This Well
From the Redditor’s post, it’s abundantly clear that Bob is doing little more than stomping his feet and having a temper tantrum about this whole situation. This is akin to a toddler screaming, “It’s not fair,” when you make them stop watching Bluey for the 74th time today.
With the house being appraised in February 2025, the siblings know the true value of the home, and there is a good chance it hasn’t changed much since. However, Bob has always been an individual who, as soon as he gets money, spends it, so he’s having an issue with paying out $300,000, whether he has it or not.
The thing that’s worrying the family is that the longer this goes on, the more likely it is that Bob uses up his IRA inheritance and won’t be able to afford to pay off each sibling for the home. This leaves the family in a bit of a sticky situation.
It’s Time to Lawyer Up
Look, nobody likes getting to this point with family, no matter the circumstance, and especially not when money is involved, but Bob has let this go on long enough. With him being the executor, the rest of the family is beholden to him to a timeline to make good on the promise to pay, which he has yet to do, and will likely drag it on as long as possible.
This means the advice I would like to give this individual, whether a stranger or a friend, is to lawyer up. It’s time to start thinking about how to move forward, which involves documenting every conversation with Bob about the inheritance and making notes about his reactions and behavior.
The best advice is to hire a real estate attorney and discuss the rights of the siblings and the available legal standing. At the same time, the family can give Bob one more chance to be cooperative as a family, and if not, it’s time to consider mediation or a lawsuit.
The bottom line is that I would tell this individual that Bob isn’t above the law and that if Bob can’t come to an agreement with the family after one final sitdown, it’s time to take what’s yours by any legal means necessary. There shouldn’t be any feelings of guilt, as this entire situation is of Bob’s own making, and the family has already let this go on for long enough.
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